Getting it back
Well, last night I went back to yoga. Previously, I had been a big fan of flow yoga, as a tool to strengthen my mind and body. I frequently attended "power flow" yoga classes, which were a great cardio-core-push-yourself-farther challenge. Then this fall, I suffered major physical setbacks. Since I'm not diagnosed, I guess I can't label it, but I had action tremors, PAIN, and balance problems that took a BIG toll on my (ego's) ability to participate in class. I was devastated. I did not return. I have been feeling better lately, but have been hesitant to return: afraid of what I've lost.
then my brother kicked me in the butt. We were chatting on g-mail while (supposed to be) working, and I shared that I had a list if things that I, as a teacher, needed to get done before school gets out, but was unmotivated to do. He said, "Don't just do it, OWN it." So, I hunkered down for an hour and completed 3 tasks with zen-like focus. All three came out great. Thank you, Gene.
So, I then thought; apply this mind-set to getting back into yoga. I went to my first class in 5 months last night. I OWNED it. Even before class started, I gave myself permission to flow into the restorative poses rather than the advanced poses I had been working on. I meditated on my body's strengths and weaknesses IN THE MOMENT just before class started, and came to peace with my "now". Rather than beating myself up for being in a restorative pose while the 70's-ish woman next to me was doing a shoulder stand, I commented to her on how beautiful she flowed into it. We both felt good.
I'm not yet okay with all that I've lost physically and all that I go through with the (undiagnosed) flares, but maybe, just maybe, I've found a breakthrough towards accepting the NEW me.
thanks for listening.
Namaste.
then my brother kicked me in the butt. We were chatting on g-mail while (supposed to be) working, and I shared that I had a list if things that I, as a teacher, needed to get done before school gets out, but was unmotivated to do. He said, "Don't just do it, OWN it." So, I hunkered down for an hour and completed 3 tasks with zen-like focus. All three came out great. Thank you, Gene.
So, I then thought; apply this mind-set to getting back into yoga. I went to my first class in 5 months last night. I OWNED it. Even before class started, I gave myself permission to flow into the restorative poses rather than the advanced poses I had been working on. I meditated on my body's strengths and weaknesses IN THE MOMENT just before class started, and came to peace with my "now". Rather than beating myself up for being in a restorative pose while the 70's-ish woman next to me was doing a shoulder stand, I commented to her on how beautiful she flowed into it. We both felt good.
I'm not yet okay with all that I've lost physically and all that I go through with the (undiagnosed) flares, but maybe, just maybe, I've found a breakthrough towards accepting the NEW me.
thanks for listening.
Namaste.
Replies
It sounds you have found a positive, which we all have to do. I do yoga as well, but self-taught with \'Yoga for Dummies\' and I have a couple of DVDs.. Years ago, just prior to diagnosis, I went to a \'bones builders\' class with my older mom. I probably am the age of most of the participants kids or grandkids. It was really nice, they were very welcoming and nicely non-intrusive. Now, when I see my mom, I always go back with her, and they are always great. They aren\'t nosy, but of course know I have MS. Apparently two more of the regulars have kids with MS. In my tiny town of 1,000, there are 2 others in my age range with a diagnosis.
Anyway, I am trying to motivate myself to look for a new gym again. You have helped motivate me, thanks!
How old are your boys? Mine is 4.5
I understand the yoga class you are referring to- I have heard of it as kripalu or restorative yoga. A few years ago, my husband was deployed to the Pakistan border and I was home raising our infant. I signed up for one of those classes as a stress reliever, and was by far the youngest there. The instructor approached me and said, \"I\'m sorry, but this is a gentle yoga session. I think you are in the wrong class.\" I explained my situation, and that I was looking for 2 hours or serenity. She let me stay, and I fit right in! :)
I just choose mat space near a wall for when my balance fails and I need to reach out.
Are you still in Spain, or back in VT? That sounds like a high incidence for a small town.
My boys are 6 and 14.
I am in Spain still (since 17 years ago!). Couldn\'t move back thanks to MS (the government pays for all but about 50 per month for my meds etc. in the US I couldn\'t earn enough to pay for them!) Make sure you are insured before diagnosis!!!
Did you know that VT has the highest incidents of MS per capita than any other state?! The stats on my town are def. weird too. . .