getting healthy

I don't remember a time that I was ever comfortable with myself, but I have to get over it and stop trying to disappear with booze( the past 15 yrs) and various drugs before that! I have been trying to stay clean on my own and with AA but it's not working. This is day 3 of my attempt to have a better life. My kids deserve a better mom and I deserve to live clean and sober.  Need help