Getting Harder

Talked to my sister in law this morning.  We shared our grief over missing my husband and her brother.  It was hard!  It seems when I talk to his family it gets hard all over again accepting he is gone.  Like Thelma said this morning, "I thought he would out live us."  She was referring to her older sister and herself. They are both older than their brother was.
I am getting through one day at a time and handling what I need to for Christmas, and some things I want to in memory of my dear husband.
The wind howled last night and it poured rain.  It was not a comfortable feeling.  I woke a lot and missed my husband so much.  I have tree branches all over the back yard from a very tall pine tree.
I will be happy for the next two weeks to get over, but then new feelings and needs will arise to process.  Firsts are so hard!
I'm feeling kinda bad this morning.  Tonight I will be joining my sister to watch the decorated boats on the river from her apartment.  That will be nice.