Getting Free again

Feeling incredibly anxious, depressed and ashamed.
Have been in codependent relationship with a long term alcoholic for 4+ years. Have left him several times. Keep coming back. I'm pretty sure I don't even love him anymore, but am so bound to him.
Financially, physically, emotionally down. 2 weeks post spinal surgery, going through bankruptcy, unemployed.  I have lost so much.
Need to find a way out/ a way back.
TODAY: I will renew my antidepressant Rx
            I will keep my doctor appointment
            I will visit my baby grandson
            I will pack one drawer.
            I will do my best to not obsess over all this mess