Getting Better All the Time
Well, not all the time; just quoting the old song! My son still hates my guts, I think, but he is slowly getting over it. Even made a couple of jokes in the car this morning.
I think he stayed up too late again with homework (he really draaaaagggsss it out) & didn't get enough sleep again. It boggles my mind how he just doesn't do it & get it over with so he can do something more fun (or at least enable himself to sleep). Whatever is bugging him, he's turning it inward onto himself. I don't get it. I know his homework will take a bit longer than the average kid, but it shouldn't take all night long. So I've done all I can (offering help, etc.); this is his choice.
I've been pondering our exchanges lately & it seems that he really loves to fight/argue (anyone who's been reading this journal is probably saying, "Duh!"). He seems to know exactly which button to press to get that fight out of me, but I have to be very aware of this & not get "hooked" into an argument. Really, why should my blood pressure go up? Though I know it will once I have those buttons pushed! But something has to change & he won't, so it has to be me.
An after-thought on the tossed milk incident: at least it wasn't chocolate milk! (I say this because my daughter spilled chocolate milk on the coffee table last night & that got me to thinking...)
In other news, I finished the Self-Image study. I think the biggest thing I've learned is that I am a Perfectionist; I hold myself & others to very high standards (side note: I've drastically lowered my expectations of my son over the past few years). I don't let it stop me from trying to achieve anything, but it's like I'm in a constant state of striving & "falling short." But I need to cut myself--and others--a break. I should be pleased that I'm a high achiever (for me) & not necessarily expect too much of others & judge them for it.
I have to say that, with my mom, I've put my expectations in the basement. I don't expect her to act "normal" and I do expect to run into her dysfunction when I interact with her & if she is negative toward me, it's because of her issues, not me. This has actually been so liberating for me, because most of the time, she now exceeds my expectations! :-)
I think he stayed up too late again with homework (he really draaaaagggsss it out) & didn't get enough sleep again. It boggles my mind how he just doesn't do it & get it over with so he can do something more fun (or at least enable himself to sleep). Whatever is bugging him, he's turning it inward onto himself. I don't get it. I know his homework will take a bit longer than the average kid, but it shouldn't take all night long. So I've done all I can (offering help, etc.); this is his choice.
I've been pondering our exchanges lately & it seems that he really loves to fight/argue (anyone who's been reading this journal is probably saying, "Duh!"). He seems to know exactly which button to press to get that fight out of me, but I have to be very aware of this & not get "hooked" into an argument. Really, why should my blood pressure go up? Though I know it will once I have those buttons pushed! But something has to change & he won't, so it has to be me.
An after-thought on the tossed milk incident: at least it wasn't chocolate milk! (I say this because my daughter spilled chocolate milk on the coffee table last night & that got me to thinking...)
In other news, I finished the Self-Image study. I think the biggest thing I've learned is that I am a Perfectionist; I hold myself & others to very high standards (side note: I've drastically lowered my expectations of my son over the past few years). I don't let it stop me from trying to achieve anything, but it's like I'm in a constant state of striving & "falling short." But I need to cut myself--and others--a break. I should be pleased that I'm a high achiever (for me) & not necessarily expect too much of others & judge them for it.
I have to say that, with my mom, I've put my expectations in the basement. I don't expect her to act "normal" and I do expect to run into her dysfunction when I interact with her & if she is negative toward me, it's because of her issues, not me. This has actually been so liberating for me, because most of the time, she now exceeds my expectations! :-)
Replies