"get over it"

People who say that about childhood or even adult emotional pain don't know much do they?  What happened can't be undone.  I'll settle for an adjustment that leaves me able to make my own decisions based on what's good for me and those I love, and not see myself acting in some way hurtful or stupid because that was a reaction to my past pain.  My wife didn't withhold affection from me when I was a kid, my children don't deserve to be treated in the abusive way I was.  My friend had surgery on her toe today and had to cancel.  I don't need to get all needy on her.  Her cancelling has nothing to do with being abandoned by both my parents as a child.  But my childhood will always be with me.  I won't "get over it".  But I can see it as a guide, to make me more aware of other people's pain than the average person could ever be.  As long as I'm going to have some awareness I should be alert to how those emotions and mechanisms from childhood are steering me, so I can step back mentally when I need to and "cool it".  And at the same time I need to learn to set limits.  I hopefully won't do anything and everything for someone with a smile.