get over yourself

the fact that you have a spine of yarn is not new, not exciting, not rare. the fact that you are cold, abusive, unforgiving and punishing is not unchartered waters, although i admire your commitment to shitheadedness. it's me that's the most horrifying part of this story. i did the work on myself, i asked the questions i did the thinking i wrote about the processing, the failing and succeeding. i was watching. i was paying attention. and yet still i find myself here. with a complete stranger who pretended to be my husband while holding me in quicksand and poisoning my coffee every day with apathy and passive sabotage. and active rage. the fact that you exist is not special, you are not special. you are a dime a dozen loser asshole i was unfortunate enough to be successfully lied to. it's me that doesn't belong here. it's me i'm worried about.