get me out of here....

Coming home is instant stress. instant worry. instant insanity. and they called me before i came home to make sure i had something to worry about. my horse broke out the fence and ruined a bale of hay, so i have to re do fences... no biggie really, my dog cant be in house, this that this that.... ugh. it all could have waited till i got home. why the F did she have to call on my last day gone? well im home. and im done. as soon as i get money i am out. i cant handle my dog living like this, i cant be like this. they stress me out, and this is not a place where i want to be in my life. i want to be peaceful and have goals and plans. im heartbroken about how my horses look, because they havent been getting fed. it hurts. im giving them away. i cant board them elsewhere. and i dont feel comfortable paying here to have them taken care of. im just going to settle for a cheap apartment, then jump state as soon as i can. im tired of all this. i love washington. i love my mountains and trees and fresh breeze and lakes. but how often do i swim? how often do i fish? how often do i do those things becasue of the weather or other things? i dont. i will miss the ocean incredibly. but i never go enjoy it out here anyway. there are nice lakes in AZ. and you can swim year round pretty much. i could get a couple jet skis. i could get my medical stuff looked at, cause i will get medical through work. i wont have to worry about matt, or my family cept on occassions. and austin will be with me. i just hope he is really serious about moving with me. and that we can do what it takes together to do this. im just worried now about our temporary housing. i cant live with him where he is. there is no room. even less room then here in a way. and if i get my own place, well, he will be there all the time, but i dont think he wants to live with me yet, and he feels obligated to his room mates/friends. we would be paying alot of rent money going out together that we could be savig i guess. i dont know. im not too worried about it. im more worried with getting out of here, and of course, its all in a rush. no time to plan about furnature, and such. and im a little scared, im goin to be alone.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Honey, just take it a step at a time. If I were closer, I would take your horses, and you know they would be alright with me. If AZ is right for you, it will work out. It really sounds like you need to find another living option for you and for all your fur family, hoofed and pawed. Goddess will find answers for you. Trust Her.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Get through today, then get through tomorrow. Sorry you have to give your horses away :( Find a good home for them, and then do the next right thing. Doing the next right thing is easier said then done, I know that. Try not to focus on the things that you can\'t change, like the people in your life. Come up with a plan that works for you, and work it. How\'s the baby doing? I sure loved her recent pic\'s! I hope things begin to change for the better, in your life. I\'m here for you, you can talk my ear off! lol Your situation reminds me of myself, when Jimmy was born. Being a mom is wonderful! The time seems to fly while the kids are growing up. Good times, bad times, somehow we got through them all. Take care, pretty girl...Love, Robin