Get better

I have come to the conclusion that i don't want to be married any more.I ha ve been through 10 years of lies and deception and although he seems to actually want to change things I am not really into believing him.Perhaps its selfpersevation perhaps just waiting for him to mess up AGAIN.I know God is trying to work on him (like  He does for all of us) so that leaves me at least cordgial to him. I can't get him to understand it will take more than a week or month to get over what he put me through.  I want to be there for him but he gets so moody that I don't want to be around him and I keep the kids away from him.Now don't get me wrong I don't take no mess from him and I let him know when he takes a wrong turn with the kids.I know it seems kinda weird to not take any mess from him  but still be with him but for those of you who can understand, if it weren't for the power of God I would have dropped him like a rotten hot potato YEARS ago.And if he just lost his mind and hit me, lets just say God would have to be  in control.Well I'll go now. Although I'm really not sure why I wrote so much.Guess I just needed a place to vent and this is my only safe place.(I am such a private person)Hope this h elps someone.