Gentle Lessons of Life

  Gentle Lessons of Life When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.                 *************  A penny saved is obviously the result of a government oversight.                 *************  The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.                     **********   The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.                     ********** The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a new replacement for it.                     **********He who hesitates is probably doing the right thing.                     **********Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL.'                     ********** If you think there is some good in everybody, you obviously haven't met'everybody'.                       ********** If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone else in mind to blame.                     **********  The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's'really' in trouble.                     ********** There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.                     **********  Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'                       *********  Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.                      *********The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.                     **********Some people try to turn back their life's odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long, long way and some of the roads weren't paved.                    ***********When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.                   ***********You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.                    ***********  One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.                     **********Ah,being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.                     **********First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.  It's even worse when you forget to pull it down.                     ***********Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.Today, it's called golf                     ********* Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN..!!   Creation or Evolution A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human race appear?' The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children, and so was all mankind made.' Two day later the girl asked her mothet the same question. The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?' The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple.  I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.' A few thoughts... a few smiles....       http://web2.airmail.net/dpelc/yellow/ Just a link to a kind of yellow pages for the bible I liked and wanted to share... Hugs Elissa