Generally Confused

I haven't journaled for quite some time now & thought, for the few who do check it out, that it was abt time I gave some updated news/info. I had my 6 month visit with my rheumy & he's fairly pleased with how everything is going.  He still wants me to keep taking the plaqunel although I was hoping we'd start cutting that out but alas not yet.  He put me thru my mobility paces & examined my joints & everthing seems pretty good.  I had told him I had to stop taking the bone density builder because it was setting off my restless leg symdrome but he wants me to try again for a few days & see what happens so I shall obey.  A while back I started taking a new multi-vitamin from a line we have here called Greens.  The one I'm taking is Greens Multi plus Daily Bone Builder.  Greens makes all sorts of combinations for various conditions.  I have indeed noticed improvements in my hip.  Don't know if it's just that or is it combined with the regular exercise I do a couple times a week.  Either way I do remember to thank our Lord for all his assistance in this matter.  I did tell my rheumy that I guess the one lupus thorn I'll have to live with is the sleep issue or alot of times lack of proper sleep.  But I try to remind myself that in the big picture that really is not much to seriously worry abt, right. On another hand, hubby's treatment day is fast approaching, December 22nd.  I wish I could put in words how I'm feeling but I somehow can't.  Happy, sad, confused, frustrated, feeling OK, feeling edgy, etc. etc.  Once a week I go to that conservatory/garden centre, the one I posted pics of, to meditate & pray & it's like I was telling my sister here at DS that I even feel like I have a hard time reaching out to the Lord somehow.  BUT, I'm fighting like heck to keep focused.  I guess it doesn't help that the TV news the other day had this report on radiation causing diff types of cancers.  I know they were particularily referring to MRI's & CT Scans but hey, it was not good timing to see this.  I'm wondering if I shd ask the dr abt that when we check in on Tuesday. Well I'll sign off for now.  Seems to me there was something more I wanted to talk abt can't remember somehow.  Oh well.