General stuff

Back spasms for a day and a half on the lower right side. Bad and woke me up last night. Pills for it make me so tired.  I continue to chat with someone who I fell in love with over a year and a half ago.  I broke it off last year for a stupid reason. But now we are talking again and I realize and told her what a terrible mistake I made. She is taking it slow and I don't want to pressure her. Saw her for three amazing days early in the month, strictly platonic but it got me in to the same position I was last year. My marriage is on the rocks, understandably, but what I am in is symptomatic of a failed marriage. I have to move on and forward. 
I am so far away from this one, but I hope after the divorce is over to try to start over again with her without my baggage. She's been in bad marriages but, she makes me feel as never before. There are things she says she can't tell me since I am married and doesn't want to lead me on, but she does send me photos while not graphically sexual are still what I consider intimate. So, there is that. She respects me, treats me like a man should be treated, equally and honestly. Never felt like this before about anyone. And for me that is saying something. I want nothing more than to be close to her, near her, you name it. I would do anything for her she makes me feel that good. So much to do and it all is going to take time. I hope she can wait for me. She is worth it and more. Never wrote poetry for anyone but I did for her. So much advice from so many, but in the end, I am the one who has to decide. In my heart I know what I must do. Failed relationship takes two to tango and I am certainly not without fault by a long shot. OCPD does that to people. I want to be in a better place. She's just amazing.