Gees, this is rough, but we're getting through...
Thank you SO MUCH for all your kind words, everyone.
We finally reached his parents around noon... turns out his mother kept a life insurance policy going all these years just for this moment. My son told her about our plans - she asked if she could have some of the ashes, and he said no, he wanted to scatter them all here...
But then on the way back from the hospital, my sister told me that when my stepsister passed they split the ashes... some for the funeral, and another small urn so her daughter could always have her mother near. So I mentioned that to my son and that's how we're going to handle it. I'll be delivering the ashes and whatever photos I can find to them when I go back this weekend. UGH.
It was best this way... when the doctor called my son last night, he told my son to come in early this morning and I was so dreading that... I could tell they were going to ask my son to give the ok to disconnect any life support and I prayed that my son wouldn't have to.... and then at 2:06 last night, his liver failed and his heart stopped right afterward. I'm so grateful for that. So now my X is at peace... and an odd bit of news regarding my x's passing... at the same time he passed, his best friend at the place where he was living died too.
My head hurts from all the crying. I meet with the funeral director tomorrow... the attorney to start the estate stuff Tuesday. But I'm doing fine... I HAVE the strength for this... Thanks again, everyone. Donna
We finally reached his parents around noon... turns out his mother kept a life insurance policy going all these years just for this moment. My son told her about our plans - she asked if she could have some of the ashes, and he said no, he wanted to scatter them all here...
But then on the way back from the hospital, my sister told me that when my stepsister passed they split the ashes... some for the funeral, and another small urn so her daughter could always have her mother near. So I mentioned that to my son and that's how we're going to handle it. I'll be delivering the ashes and whatever photos I can find to them when I go back this weekend. UGH.
It was best this way... when the doctor called my son last night, he told my son to come in early this morning and I was so dreading that... I could tell they were going to ask my son to give the ok to disconnect any life support and I prayed that my son wouldn't have to.... and then at 2:06 last night, his liver failed and his heart stopped right afterward. I'm so grateful for that. So now my X is at peace... and an odd bit of news regarding my x's passing... at the same time he passed, his best friend at the place where he was living died too.
My head hurts from all the crying. I meet with the funeral director tomorrow... the attorney to start the estate stuff Tuesday. But I'm doing fine... I HAVE the strength for this... Thanks again, everyone. Donna
Replies
Oh honey, my heart goes out to you! You once really loved this man. The end of love is a hard hard thing. It must be a very difficult time for you and your son. I hope that writing in this journal is helping you to sort some things out.
You did the best you could Donna - you MUST keep this in mind! You could not save him. You picked YOU. You saved YOU. And in the end, that\'s all any of us can do. You gave him your love and support for many years. You did all that you could do to make him happy and create a happy family. Be at peace with that hon. He is at peace now too. Finally. I am thinking of you this evening and sending healing thoughts your way in the coming days.
Donna, dealing with the death of someone is never easy, but I know you will get through this ok. I am sending you all kinds of prayers for strength to move through this and then to get right back to where you were in your wonderful New Life. Warm comnforting hugs coming your way...xoxox
((hugs)) It is amazing the sources you can draw strength from to get through this kind of thing. You will manage to get it all done, but don\'t be surprised if a few weeks later totally out of the blue you have a total meltdown and find yourself absolutely drained. I found that happened after my Dad\'s death a couple of months ago.
I think you go into a kind of autopilot and driven mode to get everything necessary done, and it is once life kinds of settles back to \"normal\" that the exhaustion hits you.
Prayers and ((hugs))
I am glad your son has agreed to allow his parents to have some of the ashes. After all it is their son just as much as it is your son\'s father.
I am sure you must have been relieved that he agreed to that, because you know how you would have felt under the same circumstances.
I\'m so sorry - many prayers and blessings being sent your way. You\'ll get through it.