GEES, I'm exhausted...
But at least the nightmares have stopped. That wedding turned out to be the best thing for dealing with that Zombie.... helps too that I called another friend and went mountain biking with her and burned off some energy. And it too turned out to be an adventure since we got chased off by a storm. There was lots of lightning, heavy rain and even hail - we'd gotten back to the van just in time. Driving home was another interesting experience... traffic jam in Deadwood (hey, it's tourist season) forced us to turn around and take a dirt road back to my town.... it's gorgeous but long (it takes 30 minutes to drive 7 miles that way), but it turned out to be a good choice since the trees deflected most of the hail. And thank God we got through the flood areas before the water did.
AND, at least I'm working out again! Yep... DEFINITELY moving forward! LATER!
Several hours later... btw, got to thinking about something. That Zombie isn't gone yet.... there's still a bit of a twitch that I need to deal with, and it's ANCIENT. I ran into someone I knew at the wedding... a single guy, vegetarian, heavily into road and mountain biking and very fit. When I got there, I was feeling a bit raw, waved hi, and went to talk to him because he was the only person I knew... and with almost a sneer, he turned his back on me, walked away. The reason? Because I'd gained weight since he last saw me and he feels that being anything less than being in complete control of one's self is a social flaw (all his friends are fit and though he doesn't come right out and make comments about weight, his friends do). And it triggered an insecure twitch I've had since HIGH SCHOOL.... do I change myself because of the way he just treated me? It doesn't mean that I'll be any more accepted. Do I stay the same because I want someone to like/love me for my soul only? Or do I blow the whole thing off and change myself because I WANT TO, for me. (I'm leaning toward this last one). See what I mean? A twitch.... but, (smiling) I'm READY for it! LATER!
AND, at least I'm working out again! Yep... DEFINITELY moving forward! LATER!
Several hours later... btw, got to thinking about something. That Zombie isn't gone yet.... there's still a bit of a twitch that I need to deal with, and it's ANCIENT. I ran into someone I knew at the wedding... a single guy, vegetarian, heavily into road and mountain biking and very fit. When I got there, I was feeling a bit raw, waved hi, and went to talk to him because he was the only person I knew... and with almost a sneer, he turned his back on me, walked away. The reason? Because I'd gained weight since he last saw me and he feels that being anything less than being in complete control of one's self is a social flaw (all his friends are fit and though he doesn't come right out and make comments about weight, his friends do). And it triggered an insecure twitch I've had since HIGH SCHOOL.... do I change myself because of the way he just treated me? It doesn't mean that I'll be any more accepted. Do I stay the same because I want someone to like/love me for my soul only? Or do I blow the whole thing off and change myself because I WANT TO, for me. (I'm leaning toward this last one). See what I mean? A twitch.... but, (smiling) I'm READY for it! LATER!
Replies