gambled
i will write in my journal, too embarrassed to write on forum, but i feel like i'm in a trance, and i feel alone, and i want to be left alone to do what i want, and then i do, and i'm right back here, less alot of money, i dont know what its going to take, i cant give up, thats not an option, the pull of the casino just kills me when my daughter is away.....
sorry everyone, i will try again...
sorry everyone, i will try again...
Replies
OMG, that was me, whenever my daughter left, was my time to go, as she got older, it just got worse, and at 21 when she moved out, it was a billion times worse. I get it. Find other things to do to fill your time when you don\'t have her. Also, think about her, as if she were home with you. You can get through this!
thank you leap, i appreciate you responding, makes me feel better
day 30 (for the 2nd time) i passed two weeks, i did one 46 days and this my 2nd big attempt, i can honestly the thought of gambling, sickens me and scares me to my core, oh how i wish i tacked this mofo a long time ago, but so be it, here i am, happy and safe, and secure and i dont pretend to be in recovery like i did before \"try to white knuckle it\" i could really care less...its a new feeling, i have a good sense it will take me to the next level. xxoo everyone