GAL

My lawyer just got off the phone with the Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) and she feels that I am a good father and I don't have an "anger problem". I must say that I'm very emotional right now. To be validated by an outside source, and someone who has done literally thousands of interviews really makes me feel good. No matter how much you feel inside that you've been a good father, during all this you start to doubt yourself and believe the negative things. Looking back you start to feel like maybe I did yell and scream at him, or them too much or all the time. It didn't happen, I was and still am a good person who tries his best to be a good father and spouse. But then again we have the double edged sword. The son is just torn right in half, literally he wants to be with us 6 months each. I feel so much anger for her but I keep trying to find it in my heart to forgive her, NOT forget this but to forgive her for our sons sake. I must keep my eyes on the big picture and that is his happiness and well being. This is a long term goal not short term. It might even mean letting them go for now with the hope of him returning to me because I end up being the only sane person in his life. I fear if I fight to keep them here it will be a constant fight with her over him with her constantly trying to undermine me. Plus I have the no contact order to be wary of and when it could come down to her word against mine I will have to watch my six at all times. I just pray God will watch over us and give me the wisdom to do the right thing for my son.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Now that\'s some good news! Yes you do start to doubt yourself so it is always good to have someone remind you that you are a good person and doing things right.
And you ARE a good person, and a wonderful father.
It must be so hard for you, but you don\'t want a constant battle, it will be harder for your son.
Isn\'t there a saying, \'if you love someone let them go\'? Maybe you will have to do that, but on the other hand you might not. Lets keep positive!
It must be so hard to keep sane right now, I don\'t know how you\'re doing it, I think I\'d have cracked a long time ago. You are amazing!
Thank you for the update. Remember you are not alone in this, we are always here for you.
God bless (and he will guide you - I\'m starting to believe that now!)
deleted_user
deleted_user

That is really good news! One thing about this terrible illness is that you do tend to start believing the things that they say, even though you know that they\'re ridiculous. Take care GoodFight.