Gabriel Martin (My Son)

I love Gabriel Martin Luckey more than anything in this world. After 22 hours and some minuets of almost completely natural, BACK LABOR, I brought him into this world on October 30th, 2009 at 12:34pm. He weighed 6 lbs 15 oz. and was 22in long.
When he came into this world, he was not crying, and it scared me very much. I was even afraid to look up. But the DR. told me to look. When I did, i saw him. His eyes were wide open and he was very alert. He was looking around everywhere, like what just happened. I cried a little. He was so beautiful. They didn't put him on my chest right away like they normally do with newborns because, he was overdue, and his lungs had to be cleaned out. When i first heard him cry, i cried a little. I looked over and saw him screaming his head off, it made me feel better, knowing his lungs were clear, and he was healthy. After they were done clearing his lungs out, they gave him to me, and put him on my chest. He started to breast feed a little bit. Then they took him away, and gave him his first bath. And gave him back to me, wrapped up in a warm cozy blanket.. I remember, i looked into his eyes. I felt an instant bond with him, i KNOW i did. He was so beautiful, how could i NOT. I remember feeling his warmth against me, and i felt whole for once in my life...
I was so exhausted after giving birth to him, but it was so worth it. I was practically passing out, and struggling to keep my eyes open. About an hour after i had him, i took a little nap.
After the nap, they moved me into the recovery area. They made me walk down the hallway (to prevent me from getting blood clots) to get to the recovery room i would be staying in for a few nights. When i got in there, i laid down on the bed, and tried so hard not to fall asleep. I just couldnt stay awake. I didn't feed him first, his dad did, and i 100% regret that.
I remember when everyone left to go home for the night, and i had my son all to myself. I was holding him in my arms, and he looked up at me, and looked right into my eyes. I fell to pieces. His beautiful, big eyes, looking into mine. I fell in love with my little baby boy. I couldn't stop looking at him, he was amazing.
He kind of hard a rough start because, he had acid reflux and spit up a lot that first night that i had him. I was all alone in the hospital, and had to keep calling the nurse, because he kept on screaming and i had no idea what to do. So they took him away to the nursey. and fed him for me, so that I could get some sleep. I missed him when he wasn't with me. I missed holding him, and watching him sleep.I felt sad when they took him to the nursery, but at the same time, was glad i got to get some sleep.
I remember how tiny he was. I remember what the weather was like the day i brought him home with me. It was a beauitful day. The sun was shinning. The weather was very Autum like. I remember what he was wearing, too. He was wearing a winnie the pooh onesie, with a pair of pants that went with the onesie, and a little hat.
When i got home, i remember setting the carseat down on the couch, and just sitting there on the floor, look at my baby boy. My newborn. My sweetheart. My everything. I remember taking him out of the carseat and holding him in my arms. It was perfect.
 

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deleted_user

beautiful story!!! i can really relate! my son is 27 and i remember all the details of his birth and how i fell in love with him!!! Such blessings are our sons!!! You\'ll work through your hard times, honey, because you DO love him. You just need a little help right now, that\'s all. Be gentle with yourself, ok? xo