funny memory / maybe not so anymore

Was just sitting here thinking about when Bruce and I first met. We met when I was 35yrs old. I was divorced from my first husband for about 5yrs at that point. I'm a liitle ashamed and mean (little) to say that after my divorce I got a little wild. I was living the  yrs that i missed out on. I met my first husband at 16 and married at 19. My friends were all going bar hopping and I was playing house. So I did that at 30. Luckily I lived with my Mom so my kids were never left alone. My friends were saying it was like I lived 2 lives. During the week I was a responable adult and on the weekends watchout. So anyway that lasted about a year and a half after my divorce. Then I staretd thinking what the heck are you doing, Lori. This is not you. I was meeting the wrong men, men very much like the ex. So I said thats enough, concentrate on yourself now. So I still went out occationally only with groups of friends and stopped dating. I needed to find myself first. The ex had taken that away from me. Probably the day we got married. My Mom would say it was sooner. But I didnt notice until my first child was born. Anyway. I was out of the loop of dating. Really dating, not just having a fling here and there. I mean a committed relationship. Then I met Bruce. He was so handsome and sweet. Yes we met at a bar, but this time I was not being the wild and crazy school girl at (35) like I had been previously after my divorce. I had gone back to being myself. A caring mother, a trusted friend. Someone I liked again. I was content being me. I was out with friends seeing a band,the place was very crowded and Bruce was looking for a place to sit. I offered him a chair next to me. We chatted and danced the whole night. Later when it was time to leave. He walked me to my car and offered me his coat.He asked me for my #. I gave it to him.I went home that night and called my neice and told her what happened. She was 20 at the time and so much more worldly than me. LOL She yelled at me for giving out my real #. She said not to have him pick me up at my place, I shouldnt let him know where I lived. She said to only go on a date in a public place and for me to meet him there. Stay close to home on the first date, and have a backup plan to get out of there in a hurry if I had too. Well I broke most of her rules. Our first date was in Boston. No way was I drivingto the city by myself. He picked me up. At my house. There was no backup plan. If things didnt work out I would have been stranded in Boston with no way to get home.The date was wonderful. I wouldnt have changed a thing. When I called my neice later I thought she was going to kill me. She said now dont you do that again. I spent 10 years with Bruce most were wonderful some were challenging but wouldnt change it for the world.Her daughter Lily eventually was Bruce and my flower girl in our wedding. My neice and I are still very close. She is now 31.  She was the one that was with me when the nurses said I could go say bye to Bruce. The nurses brought me in first and I nearly past out. But when Kerrin brought me in I felt safer for some reason. She closed Bruce's eyes for me and even put chapstick on his lips. I couldnt believe she had done that. I could only caress his hair and kept saying I cant believe he's gone. She was my rock. I love her, but I'm so glad I didnt listen to her dating advice.  This was suppose to be a funny story of how my neice gave me dating advice but somehow I got off track and so many different memories flooded the gates.. It feels good writing this down. I'm outside on the laptop. The sun is shining after a month of rain. The birds are chirping. I'm trying to get pictures of the humming birds. I am at peace. And although Frankie got in the trash and had it all over the yard. It is a wonderful day!