Funeral

Today is the funeral.  After much thought, I've decided to spend only one hour there for the wake and the service follows.  He's being cremated so there is no need to go to the gravesite.  Thank God.  My parents had it right.  They believe that the body should be cremated and nothing more.  It's torture to go through the service.  I've actually told all my friends and relatives don't come if it requires taking time off work or any other inconvience.  I told them I will need them in the days and months to come, not just on the day of the service.
 
My husband is already gone.  He's laughing and talking in heaven.  He's with God.  All this funeral services are not needed.
 
My goal for today is to remember God's word regarding everlasting life and not to spend the day crying.  So far so good.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Thinking of you today and wishing you peace and comfort. I understand your feelings. I watched my husband leave his body and had no desire to see that empty shell again. You will get through this day, but there are many more hard ones to come. In time, we will be through the pain, have all of our answers and be reunited with our husbands. We just have to remember God\'s time is not the same as ours. While they are in a better place, we must do what we can to get by on this one until our time too arrives
Hugs
Angie
deleted_user
deleted_user

I believe the wake and or funeral are more for other people than the spouses. I had my husband cremated and then a wake. i was with him when he passed away so I had said my goodbye\'s. I am having what is left of his ashes buried over Memorial Day weekend. He had requested me to scatter his ashes several places and I have accomplished two of eight scatterings. When my father in law passed away they never had any services for any of the family and I never felt like I got the chance to say goodbye...I realize the body is gone and the soul but I think it is just a way for people to say goodbye and accept the fact this person has passed away...just my opinion...hugs
janalM
janalM

When my husband passed he had requested that nothing be done. His mother and father the same. He wanted to be remembered alive. We had a small gathering of friends at the home and people talked about their memories. This is what he wanted. I think Dragonstar55 and I are the same in that respect. I wish you peace and comfort in the days to come. Hugs Jane
deleted_user
deleted_user

Funerals are for the living. Craig always maintained that and in fact had called all his friends to ask that they make an effort to visit him while he was alive rather than attending his funeral after he was gone, if they could only come one time. His only request was that at least one of his friends be there to stand by my side, which I thought was so loving of him.


Funerals are for the survivors - for closure, comfort, to help us start remembering them together so that we don\'t isolate ourselves from others with our grief. I derived a great deal of my comfort from the Jewish \"shiva\" process, in which people came over every night for the first week and we had prayers and food but also talked about our memories of Craig.

The service itself is not as meaningful.

I have been out of touch and hope that your day went tolerably and you did okay and felt surrounded by loved ones.