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Absolutely not, Miss Baldrige advises. Never send a substitute. It's the host's duty to search out one other visitor or to remove the place setting. Doing the ''right'' thing on this and other touchy conditions just isn't only polite, Miss Baldrige says - it is nice enterprise. Good manners are cost-efficient,'' she maintains.

Miss Baldrige is eminently qualified to carry forth on buying social savvy. For 37 years, she has been sharpening the manners of diplomats, corporate huge-wigs and budding entrepreneurs. A Vassar alumna, she served as an aide to the United States Ambassador on the American Embassies in Paris and Rome and as Jacqueline Kennedy's social secretary within the White Home.

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Since forming her personal public relations and advertising and marketing firm three years in the past, she has served as a advisor to 60 firms, including Hill & Knowlton, Christie's and Mark Cross. I've watched the little fish swimming around the large fish. I've seen the politicking that goes on,'' she stated. There may be another faculty of thought, nevertheless, that dictates that niceties are extraneous within the competitive world of large business.

Company officials who scale the company ladder, these doubters say, are often in poor health-mannered and sometimes downright rude. To which the doyenne of the social graces responds: ''For every rude government who makes it to the highest there are 9 successful executives with good manners.'' Following are exerpts from the e book. RIDING TO The top ON GOOD MANNERS Going Through Doorways Our grandparents had been taught that ladies should always stroll by the door first.

Not so in right now's workplace. Common sense and efficiency dictate that whoever arrives on the door first, male or female, should hold it open for the others straight behind and keep it open till all have passed by. Nonetheless, younger executives should still defer to very senior ones - by managing to get to the door quick, ahead of the others, to carry it open. And the executive the skin people have come to see should act as their host, including opening doorways for them and motioning them to walk forward.

The more at ease you grow to be in conversation, the better at small speak you grow to be. The next are examples of subjects suited to small discuss: Panorama gardening, passing the bar exams, Princess Diana, Luciano Pavarotti, the usage of hypnotism to stop smoking, robots doing housework, and how to write an on-goal resume.

When your secretary asks a caller, ''May I ask what this name is about? The caller feels as though he is deemed insufficient, unimportant, and unworthy of speaking on to the individual seated in splendor behind his government desk. A double-breasted jacket on a man or woman is supposed to be left buttoned and never grasp open.