Fuck Me

I just don't understand men at all. I have had someone that normally takes the commutter bus with me fot the past 10 years offer me a ride into work a couple days a week. It worked out so well for a few weeks. He picked me up at home, and dropped me off right out front of my work at 4:30 AM, saving me from having to walk the fucked up streets of LA. I was so impressed with this person, he just wanted to help me. Hmmmmmmm. So much bullshit!!!!  Why is it so hard for men to be honest to me? I'm no where near perfect, I'm not slim and trim or young any more and can be very much of a bitch. I have just been reaching out for friends. A new life for myself, a new fresh start. a new beginning. Then the truth comes out. Watch the fuck out when they start telling you how they are so "un-happy" with thieir spouse.  For two weeks now I have been getting the hints, but kept telling myself no fucking way. Well, way. I told him up front I will never in my lifetime be with a married man. That's not who I am, Im not a home recker. He says he dreams about me, fuck go home to your wife!! What the fuck???? I don't understand. Am I just stupid thinking I can have friends of the opposite sex? He's like "no one will know but you and me". Exactly, I would know and have to live with it? Do I need a dick tht badly, well NO. What do men not understand about the word never???? This isn't a later thing, its a never!!! I came straight out and told him " it will never fucking happen", am I forgeting to say something? His like ok "Kate, that's the way you feel now, but down the road, you let me know when you are ready." What the fuck, I still don't understand. How can you say never and still they think there is a chance?????????????? I went as far as telling him,"Hon, I'm a big girl and can take care of myself" Someone please explain this to me because I seem to be completely ignorant at this point. All that comes to my mind is what the fuck!  How in this day and age can a man think that a woman has to be with a man to be satisfied?? NEVER< NEVER<NEVER!!!! And still as he dropped me off at home he was like "you let me know Kate when you are ready" . What the hell am I missing here??? OK, I give him a few brownie points for trying, but if he keeps pushing my buttons he will end up  losing a very good friend. Is it worth it?? Not to me. I keep my friends on a petistol where they belong. Friends are so hard to find these days and even harder to keep close. I have few, but try my damnest to make them all feel special every day. What am I missing here??Why do men stay in a marriage if they are so unhappy?? I mean why lie to your wife about things? I don't understand. If your not happy either get the fuck out or better yet go home and make it work, put some fucking effort into it. Its not even that with me. If he was the last man on the face of the earth, it still wouldn't happen The word never still comes to mind. Is there something wrong with being friends?????? Shit, I have just made peace with myself, and this asshole still thinks there is a chance?????????