Frustration
I had a semi-breakdown today. I was watching a show with Geo and he asked me if I remembered what happened to a character and I had no idea what he was talking about, even though we saw it together a couple weeks ago. My meds have wrecked my memory and I just cried. I feel like a shell of who I once was. I'm probably going to be on disability for life and I can't even tell you how depressing that is. I would love one day to conquer my disorders (bipolar, paranoid schizophrenic, PTSD, borderline personality disorder and more) and have a real life again instead of just limping around doing nothing with my life. I volunteer, but I've been so dragged down into the pit that I can't even do that most weeks. When I was first on disability, I would volunteer, lost weight, could do a 5k, among other things. Now I sleep until noon or later, not going to the gym and gaining weight. I think I just gave up. I need help finding my way out of this pit.
Replies
I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling so badly . I know a lot of people feel bad when fall comes . Maybe, try to look at what you used to do and say I will pick one thing to concentrate on and do that til I feel I've accomplished a goal I set for myself. You mentioned so many things that you were able to do and feel you can't do now. Looking at that list would make anyone feel depressed and very sad. So, look at the list again with new eyes and say I can do >>>>> this.... then set a goal .. maybe, this will help you feel better about things. Let me know if you think this will work for you. Taking one thing at a time makes things more manageable. Remember how we always said take baby steps when we started something new... well look at this a a clean slate and you are starting something brand new... take small steps to accomplish what you want.. make mini goals so you can feel you are accomplishing what you want. You can do this. HUGS
If it is any consolation, I forget stuff all the time. I find it very aggravating too, but I think we have so much stuff in our heads, it's a wonder it doesn't just spill out sometimes Maybe it's just a normal part of aging. Sending you lots of love and bunches of hugs!
medication side effects can really do a number on you. its not YOU. its your meds. i take my blood pressure stuff at 12 now, just so i have a few hours of being just me. but everything is still slowed down from the meds. have you tried any vitamins to counteract the medication? that helped me a lot.