Frustrated and detemined

Well, no luck so far with David's bike.  I have all kinds of messages around on facebook.  The police did not want to take a report due to David's history!  I was afraid that might happen.  due to his getting in trouble.  Paul may call today and make them file it.  After all, they did actually go in his car and take it!  Paul is all upset he did not lock the car.  He went to grocery store and brought in all bags but one.  He meant to go back out to get last bag and my neighbor stopped by with some chile at 5:45pm.  so we know the bike was still there at that time.  Charlie left around 6pm.  David went out at 6:45pm to go to the car and wait for Paul and the hatch and one door was open and the bike was gone.  Paul and David went walking around to see if the bike was dumped somewhere and also to ask neighbors if they saw anything.  No luck.  David was sitting waiting for the school bus.  Paul went and made him a special lunch and brought it to him at the bus stop.  David is so angry and upset.
This past week, for whatever the reason, I sit at night to relax and watch tv with Paul, like 9 to 11pm.  I sit in the recliner and get a throw blanket and sit back and relax, and I start to feel anxious.  all week it feels like I have been "fighting off" a panic attack.  And things have not been that bad but this is what is going on.  I do deep breathing, try to focus on the tv show, whatever.  Last night just seemed worse than normal and when I went to bed, just had a hard time laying still, and heart began to race and breathing was rough.  So I took a Xanax.  Within maybe 10-15 minutes I was relaxed and then had an ok sleep.  i am so frustrated by this, like I don't have control over things.  Just the worry I am going to have a panic attack seems to be able to cause them.  Last week it was the stomach thing.  This week hormones from TOM I guess.  I have to find it in myself to just make this all stop somehow.  I don't know why, but I feel like a failure every time I have to take a Xanax. 
Food is good this week.  Water could be better.  Exercise is a real problem. 
It is cold today but at least it is sunny.  Praying for "normal." 

Replies

annieheart
annieheart

I am sorry to here about your sons bike.I hope today is a better day for you.
JoyceMarilyn
JoyceMarilyn

Don\'t you have to have a police report to file an insurance claim? I guess I don\'t understand the reasoning on not taking a report and the connection to David\'s getting trouble.
For the panic attacks - remember your breathing...deep cleansing breathing.
LivingWater
LivingWater

So glad somebody is getting help from Xanax! (You said you calmed in a little while and then got good sleep.) Some people swear by Xanax, others (like me) swear AT IT. For me, it was one of the worst drugs I was on. I was nearly crippled by panic attacks for several years. Along with bipolar. For me, salvation came with Cymbalta and Zyprexa. Best of luck getting your situation and life in great shape. Love ya.
Kahlua13
Kahlua13

I did 1 month on Lexapro and was a zombie. I did 1 week on Cymbalta and thought I was going to die. It scared the daylights out of me! I thank God I can take the Xanax and it works because I don\'t know what I would do otherwise. Typically for me, I feel anxious or feel a panic attack coming on. I take the Xanax and usually get relief in 10-15 minutes. Do you still have panic attacks?
bobinmaine
bobinmaine

Hang in there hun, better days are coming,
ZECILKL
ZECILKL

I can\'t believe that the police won\'t take a report due to David getting in trouble. what does that have to do with a left from your vehicle. Do they think he took it as a prank? even if that was true they have to take a report i thought as you are reporting a crime. It\'s amazes me how the police and pick and chose the reports they take. i really thought that once a crime was committed they had to take a report no matter what. I hope Paul does file a report. this way they will have to look for the bike. Also, maybe they will find the person who took it and give David a break. If they are assuming David took it then they aren\'t looking for the real criminal who could be stealing other stuff. I just don\'t get it.

Hope your panic attacks get better after the TOM. Good luck with how you feel.
fighterwithin
fighterwithin

Hang in there. I think it is just wrong they wont take a report. I dont care what kind of trouble your son has been in. Someone stealing your personal property is wrong. Regardless. I hope you find time to breathe more. I know your attacks seem to be right on the edge lately. I am truly thinking of you my friend. With love and hugs.
yoohoolouie
yoohoolouie

Big hugs on the panic attacks. Are they worse when you are tired? Why the evenings?