Frustrated and detemined
Well, no luck so far with David's bike. I have all kinds of messages around on facebook. The police did not want to take a report due to David's history! I was afraid that might happen. due to his getting in trouble. Paul may call today and make them file it. After all, they did actually go in his car and take it! Paul is all upset he did not lock the car. He went to grocery store and brought in all bags but one. He meant to go back out to get last bag and my neighbor stopped by with some chile at 5:45pm. so we know the bike was still there at that time. Charlie left around 6pm. David went out at 6:45pm to go to the car and wait for Paul and the hatch and one door was open and the bike was gone. Paul and David went walking around to see if the bike was dumped somewhere and also to ask neighbors if they saw anything. No luck. David was sitting waiting for the school bus. Paul went and made him a special lunch and brought it to him at the bus stop. David is so angry and upset.
This past week, for whatever the reason, I sit at night to relax and watch tv with Paul, like 9 to 11pm. I sit in the recliner and get a throw blanket and sit back and relax, and I start to feel anxious. all week it feels like I have been "fighting off" a panic attack. And things have not been that bad but this is what is going on. I do deep breathing, try to focus on the tv show, whatever. Last night just seemed worse than normal and when I went to bed, just had a hard time laying still, and heart began to race and breathing was rough. So I took a Xanax. Within maybe 10-15 minutes I was relaxed and then had an ok sleep. i am so frustrated by this, like I don't have control over things. Just the worry I am going to have a panic attack seems to be able to cause them. Last week it was the stomach thing. This week hormones from TOM I guess. I have to find it in myself to just make this all stop somehow. I don't know why, but I feel like a failure every time I have to take a Xanax.
Food is good this week. Water could be better. Exercise is a real problem.
It is cold today but at least it is sunny. Praying for "normal."
This past week, for whatever the reason, I sit at night to relax and watch tv with Paul, like 9 to 11pm. I sit in the recliner and get a throw blanket and sit back and relax, and I start to feel anxious. all week it feels like I have been "fighting off" a panic attack. And things have not been that bad but this is what is going on. I do deep breathing, try to focus on the tv show, whatever. Last night just seemed worse than normal and when I went to bed, just had a hard time laying still, and heart began to race and breathing was rough. So I took a Xanax. Within maybe 10-15 minutes I was relaxed and then had an ok sleep. i am so frustrated by this, like I don't have control over things. Just the worry I am going to have a panic attack seems to be able to cause them. Last week it was the stomach thing. This week hormones from TOM I guess. I have to find it in myself to just make this all stop somehow. I don't know why, but I feel like a failure every time I have to take a Xanax.
Food is good this week. Water could be better. Exercise is a real problem.
It is cold today but at least it is sunny. Praying for "normal."
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