I didn't end up going out of town, short story but it doesn't matter why.   I am so frustrated with my husband this time that I just want to spit, scream, yell, cry.....and them some more.  I can see the reason he decided to override me on this situation, I will explain in a bit, but he shouldn't have handled it the way he did.  That is a big reason my son doesn't listen to me.  I have no credibility because my son knows he can just call good ol' dad when things aren't going the way he wants them to and gets what he wants.  Because of his sensitivity toward my son's feelings, my husband would rather please him than follow through on what my son should be doing.  Gosh, it isn't like I don't feel for my son, I do, but sometimes I feel that feelings shouldn't always rule.   Maybe I am wrong about not being more sensitive.  If I am, I can accept that dare my husband do that.  He may have sensitivity toward my son but he certainly doesn't toward me and that really hurts.    Here is the situation:  T-Man had a math tutoring session today for an hour.  My son was not pleased, thinking it was tomorrow.  He had already made plans to work on his photography project.  First of all, how many times have I  told him to check with me before he cements any plans?  Second, because he was upset he started banging around, swearing etc.  So.....what did my dear husband do?  He talked to him (without talking to me first) and let him go with his friends.  In the meantime, I had to cancel the session last minute.  This was an important tutoring session because my son was supposed to work on a quiz make up from last semester.  The teacher gave him an incomplete on his report card so that he could finish it.  In addition, I hated canceling.  And... the last tutor my son went to dropped us for this very reason, canceling.  What is even more frustrating is , I am the one that does all the leg work, setting my son up with tutors, making the appointments, and then my husband works against me by putting me in the position to cancel.   I truly understand where my husband is coming from because he sees (as do I) the progress my son has made.  My son said another reason he didn't want to do it today is because he's in school all day during the  week, attends outpatient, and goes to AA 3 times a week.  He told me he just wanted a break.  I can see where he's coming from, however, the tutoring session is only for one hour.  I don't think that that is too much.    This whole thing is so frustrating because my husband has come a long being supportive .......but this stunt really has set me back.  No wonder we are having difficulty sitting down together and deciding what our son's expectations and consequences should be.  I had to do myself ( I wrote a a contract a few weeks ago) and that isn't good because -- is what I wrote up not the two of us.  Thankfully, we will have our first family therapy meeting on Monday.  I hope it is helpful.  They are expecting us to have a plan written up before the meeting - I don't think it's going to happen.