From my first discussion

I am 22 years old living in Brooklyn, NY and I'm worried and nervous about my future and how I will be living in about 10-15 years. Yes, 22 sounds young and some of you will think that I'm fine, but the thought bothers me a lot. I have this feeling that is hard to put in words and at times, i feel like I am choking in this feeling. My goal in life is to be happy in my personal life, as much as I am in my work life. I've been working in restaurants since the age of 16 as a dishwasher and as a busboy. I grew tired of working in restaurants and so i recently obtained a security guard license and I am now currently working part time as a security guard. It is a different experience, and in my opinion, not as stressful as working in the restaurant industry, but at times I think to myself "Is this something I want to be doing for the rest of my life?" So that thought has made me nervous and I pretty much start getting scared. I'm basically getting paid the same as working in restaurants, and I'm mostly spend the work day on my feet the whole day in different retail businesses, hoping that no one tries to shop lift so no problems or stress would occur. I'm only doing this 3 times a day. I once tried to study in college in computer information and engineering 2 years ago but I lost motivation and basically stopped attending. I know, it was a very dumb move. I know I need to go back to college and get an education in order to have a good job and career but I don't know what field i should study in, I've thought about the medical field but i read so many bad stories about it online and how many people say it is not worth going into anymore, I mostly want to have a job that is not physical, like where you don't have to run around like in a restaurant or stand on my feet and stay on alert for hours as a security guard. Like an office job that doesn't cause a lot of stress or I would also like to own my own business, a kind of business that also doesn't require a lot of physical work. I know, it sounds terrible but that's what i think i would like to work as. That's my general feelings that go through my head everyday, to keep it short, I want to be happy in my work life and not be working in low paying stressful jobs for the rest of my life, as I am already feeling like such a loser doing. That's only half of what I have on my plate though. I am currently in a long distance relationship with a girl the same age as me, who lives all the way in Phoenix, Arizona. We've been in the relationship for 2 years. I love her very much and she means a lot to me. Believe it or not, I've traveled to visit her twice, the first time was for 5 days in late September of 2014, and in the second time was for 2 and a half months from last December to the end of February. This adds into the large amount of pressure I am under because she sometime has anxiety attacks and is not treated very well from her family. I've seen the issues she goes through myself personally. and I want her to live with me, even though I live with my parents, i know it would still be better than the issues she goes through with her family. I don't mind explaining the things she goes through in her home, if someone asks. One major problem she has, she is undocumented as she came in this country as an infant. So she is worried about travelling. She cant get herself a job either because of the same reason, so I would send her money so she can get whatever she wants. That's the best that I can do for now to try to keep her happy from the problems she faces with her family, apart fromtalkingto her on the phone and video chatting. I sometimes think about moving to Phoenix so that i can live with her and help her get away from her house, but I believe it is very risky, again, because of the issues I am facing that I explained in the beginning. My parents know about my relationship with her and I want her to meet them too, but again, travelling for her is scary. That's pretty much what I have on my plate, and I'm sorry if some points came unclear. I slept for only 4 hours last night, because I was woke up and the feeling started "choking" me again. I'll be glad to explain deeper on any points for whoever wants to know. Any insight or thoughts about this would be great, I feel like getting this out of my head and onto this site would help me, even if just one person reads it. Thank You.