Friend troubles :(

tonight has sucked!! one of my close friends got in a fight...well we've been fighing alot this summer. she just graduated n' ever since she got out of high school she's been slowly pushing me away. n' i try n' be there for her n' txt her n' ask her to hang out but either she doesn't  txt back or she is busy n' can't hang out. ya she was busy this summer, she had to work every day she didn't have a softball game n' so that was hard. but she alway's found time to hang out wit other ppl...even ppl by where i live (we didn't go to the same school...she lives about 30 mins from where i live). during school we were pretty close. i didn't get close to her till the like 2nd half of school...we would do our homework at the same time every night. she would call me n' talk to me about every night. when she would call we would just talk about everything, she woudl tell me about her week n' what she all has going on so i alway's knew what she was doing. we hung out every weekend too. n' once summer came that all stopped...i have hung out wit her like 10 times this summer i'm pretty sure. she doen't txt back very offten. she never calles me. i never know what she has going on that week anymore. idk why she stopped talking to me. i feel like we have a relationship between a 12th grader n' a like 7th grader. n' i hate it cuz she's only like 4 months older than me n' i'm just as mature as she is. but she alway's finds something wrong wit me. either i'm to down n' depressed or i don't try hard enough to get better or i drank once or something. so when we were in high school she didn't drink n' i didn't either we keept each other from doing that but she said she might in college n' that's understandable..i didn't like it but i understood it. well she starts drinking a lil not more than like a beer but i would get a lil mad at her. well i get drunk on the 4th n' she get's all pissed at me n' is like i hope your having a great time! n' she was like i now know that what i say to you doesn't matter...i'll remember that next time. n' i get pissed n' said somethign like well you haven't been a very good friend. n' i guess that really hurt her n' i know i prolly shouldn't of said it while i was drunk but it was true she hasn't been a good friend to me. so i say i'm sorry today n' that i shouldn't of said it while i was drinking. n' she say's nothing so i just say good night to her n' then she like ugh y did you drink n' say that stuff? it really hurt me. n' i just said that i don't take it back but i do regret saying it while i was drink n' she was like well thx. n' then we talk a lil bit more n' i said to her that i was fine before i knew her n' i'll be fine wit out her but i'd rather not n' i said some more stuff to n' she stoped talkign to me n' just some other stuff was said n' then she stoped talking to me again...n' finally i was like you know what i will alway's be there for you n' i'd do anything you asked me to but you keep pushing me away n' if you really want me gone that bad then i guess as much as it sucks n' hurts to say but i'm gone then. i told her that if she ever needed anythign to let me know n' then i said good bye. i'm just tired of trying ot be there for her n' me just neving being good enough. i told her that it's hard to be the only one trying to make a friendship work n' she was like if i make you feel like shit then my do you want me to be ur friend? ugh i don't want to loose her as a friend but idk what to do anymore. i'm not putting myself through this shit again. she never gives me the time of day to even talk to her but yet i'd stop doign whatever i was doing to talk to her. that's not right n' we will be friends again when she's ready to be a friend. ugh this hurts so much!!!! it hurts so much to lose her!!!!!!!!!  srry i know this was way long but i couldn't sleep n' thought maybe if i write it out i could sleep.