friends

My goal is going ok, as I'm trying very hard to let go even more. I believe that by now I should know how I feel, and this is it: I will always love him. I knew it seven years ago, and time has only proven it. I'm learning how to be his friend, and just as important, how to accept being only his friend. I'd like to marry him, that's the painful part. But I can see distance in his eyes, his beautiful eyes that don't see me. I've heard that one thing bipolars have in common is that they take a while to overcome things, to get unattached. I hope so. That it's from the disorder and not from me is a comfort. Hope someone understands. He has seen me have my episodes, and he's been there for me through all of them. He's taken care of me since the beginning. But now that we're older, I wonder if my bipolar is a reason that he's not in love with me. All of this inside of me, and he's so far away. But all in all, my goal is well in progress.