Friday...ugh
So yesterday was just awful. I swear, I cannot be in the same room as my husband without fighting with him. IT all started with lunch. We were goung to go out to eat and he wanted to play his game. I was so hungry but I had to wait for him. Can't he see that I need to eat?? So after we were going to do some shopping, but he said he just wanted to go home. We stayed at home doing nothing (well he played his game) and he didn't even want dinner so then I said I didn't want it either. After our fight, I went to the donut store. I ate about 10 and of course I purged. I told him about it and he got really mad but kept the rest of the donuts I bought even though he knows they trigger me. I retaliated by taking laxitives. I know I need help and that we need to work on our relationship, but I am just so exhasted of everything, even fighting with him. We did manage to talk a little and agreed that I would call the nutritionist on mon and he would pay for it. I tihnk part of my relapse had to do with getting more attention from him. But it hasn't worked. Instead of being supportive, he makes fun of me that I purge. He said "don't let anyone tell you you don't have a talent, you can always be a puke analyser. Then he watched me eat lunch with a look of disgust and said that I embarass him. Does he need to read a book on ED? Shoud we stay married if I disgust him? All this is doing is making me feel even more worthless and fat and ugly. All he does is point out my negitives. I yelled out "Fine! I'll be perfect and do EVERYTHING" and he said why don't you start now? Maybe today will be better.
Replies
Hunni, your husband is clearly not helping with your ED. Its not a thing to make fun about, it\'s serious and it needs alot of attention and working through in the right way. No one can be perfect, not even him. He needs to get his head out of his arse, deflate it a bit and start being more supportive towards you (sorry if that sounds harsh but men seriously think the world revolves around them) tell him he\'s not perfect and neither are you. You need the right support, thats why we are here :)
Call the nutritionist Monday! I agree with invisiblestarlight in telling your hubby to get his head out of his arse! Seriously. He is feeding into ED and not helping matters. Yes, you should save your marriage, but only if your hubby is willing to be supportive and possibly go to therapy. I fight w/ hubby all the time about food! He\'ll come home and not be hungry, when I am starving, so if he doesn\'t eat w/ me I don\'t eat at all. So I know that frustration.If donuts are a trigger and you have left overs at home, throw them out. Lets face it, it\'s not going to be a waste of money if you toss them in the garbage. If something triggers me around the house, I toss it before it\'s even an option. The fact that your hubby get\'s joy out of knowing you purge, tell him to go screw. Don\'t give him that satisfation. Yes, he definately should read more than A book on ED! Apparently he doesn\'t realize the severity of it all and the health consequences. Sorry,l hope this helps you and I gave good advice...
in some way that is a form of abuse shug... if he talks to you that way... My ex used to do that to me... and after years of counseling.. I figured out he was ONE of my triggers to my ED.. He\'s putting you down... making you feel bad about yourself... and basically encouraging the ED... And you shouldn\'t have to FIGHT for the attention of your husband... He is verbally abusing you and hurting you... I understand what your feeling and what your going through... I\'ve been there.. if you ever need to talk... I\'m here for you... shug