Friday Round 2
I got home and poor Roomie had gotten all his top teeth pulled....he cant talk of course and is miserable. I'm here waiting to pick up his meds.
Before I left the house, I was in my bedroom with the lights turned off, thinking about how I have grown to being by alone with myself. I was talking to my brother today. He has been separated from his wife since Feb, not even divorced yet and have found someone else. He told me he could never imagine being comfortable enough being alone. He grew up with lots of friends, was popular in high school and plays in a band. I on the other hand, was a loner and had no friends, felt alone in both marriages I was in and have very few friends outside of daily strength. My question is...does how we are raised dictate how comfortable we are later with being alone? I was raised separately from my brother, father and mother by my great grandmother who kept me very sheltered in Oklahoma.
Sometimes Its the greatest, other times I wonder if I'm normal.
Replies
Dunno that it is possible to sort nurture from nature. The 10 siblings I was raised with managed to get incredible diversity out of similar nurture, but, equally, even though we were raised together, none of us had identical experiences. We never did establish A Normal, even among our 13 person social bubble.
Personally, I think I'll just let the mystery be. We is what we is and we ain't what we ain't.
"Normal for me" is the only normal I see as worthy of worry. Understanding my strictly personal normatives helps me manage my life and emotions more efficiently. Understanding **your** normatives just makes my mind to noisy to listen well.
Yes it is but I don't blame my parents. I think they did the best they could based on what they knew and raised me the way they themselves were raised.
Although it's difficult breaking free of that cycle, it can be done by taking baby steps. Looking for the good in others, knowing they too have their own problems like I have mine. By not judging others and practicing forgiveness knowing we all have imperfections in this life, and by living life by the golden rule, your light will shine bright. Others will see that light...others will see you beaming with massive amounts of Love and compassion and you become like a magnate to others and then everyone wants to be your friend! It's called the Law of Attraction which means you will attract people in your life who are at the same frequency as you are.
The Abraham Hicks videos on You tube can teach alot about that and they are all free.
God Bless
I’ve been mostly alone for about 5 months with the exception of a few days a week with my granddaughter. The two of us are a good team. The rest of the time is lonely and peaceful too. My work is by myself too (craftsman) and there are times I’m ready for some company.
My wife is coming back and we are going to live separate for a while longer but spend time together. Kind of like dating again which I’m happy about. Not quite ready to jump into full time yet.
I was an only child for 14 years and by the time my sister came along I wasn’t home much. My parents were very distant (alcoholic mom) and emotionally unavailable father. They loved me in the best way they could. But the childhood was definitely lonely. I took comfort in the forest and still do.
It’s made it a challenge to open up and that’s something I’m really trying to change. I’ve changed in the past few years and I’m thankful for this. It’s a slow process though so I find the beauty in my own company and that is giving me a certain confidence to share. For a good bit of my life I’ve been a distraction junkie and didn’t take the time out to be with myself. There’s a difference between being busy in my mind alone and being aware of myself alone. Out of the thoughts and in the heart space. If that makes sense. I mean it does to me lol.
I’m thinking about getting a small meetup group going for walks in the state parks all around here. Out of the comfort zone.
Steady on Sage. You’ve had some real change and the dust is still settling. I look at the alone time as occurring because that’s exactly where I needed to be. I know this is true so it’s quite comforting. Learning how to love ourselves opens doors.
Have a peaceful night:)
My own personal opinion from my own experience. I I found that when I was comfortable being alone with myself, I was also more comfortable being with others! In any life changing moves you make, go slow. It will be easier that way in the long run.
@ finallyawakenow We both have similar backgrounds....almost identical!
Funny thing bringing up the law of attraction...I've been listening to youtube videos about it and am convinced that's why good things are happening now. I guess I should just stop trying to figure myself out and just accept myself and enjoy what life is bringing me each day.
Absolutely!