Friday,one more appointment then rest for the weekend

Good morning journal,the time is 7:45am,I have been awake for fifteen minutes and am enjoying my first coffee of the day.My wife and our canine children are still asleep for now and I have a little me time to bring you up to date with events.Yesterday,I saw doctor Butler in the afternoon,he gave me the usual once over and noted that I was very short of breath,apparently my heart is racing again and this is probably due to my COPD/Emphysema and/or low oxygen levels. We discussed ways of slowing my heart rate and he has decided to try me on something called bisoprolol,it is a beta blocker designed to slow my heart beat,I start taking one a day in the morning from today.He explained that because of my breathing difficulties it could have the effect of making me even more breathless,but it couldn't hurt to try,I am on a low dose of 2:5mgs,so we'll try it and see if it helps.He also explained that one of the other side effects was extreme tiredness,I'm already tired because of the quetiapine,the anti psychotic drug that I take,so God only knows how tired I will be on a combo of the two,oh well,such is life.I also asked about the repeat blood work he has requested and he said that it was nothing to worry about,they just wanted to see if the metformin which I take for my diabetes was still working,what's one more needle in my arm?,so I will get that done on September 12th when I next visit the diabetic clinic.This morning,Carol Jolly from the complex mental health team will be here at 10:30am to take us to my first appointment with my new mental health team,I have no idea what to expect or how many people will be involved in my care,but it can't hurt,I haven't seen anyone connected with my mental health in over two months since my last therapist went off work sick,so I'm looking forward to meeting my new therapists.After that is over,the plan is to rest over the weekend,I have been a busy boy over the last two weeks,but,as I have already mentioned,it is all good and things do seem to be moving,slowly I know,but it is progress.I'm still waiting to hear about a start date for my pulmonary rehab course,but that will happen when it happens if it happens,so I'm not going to waste time worrying about the when,if,or why for now,it's just one more thing in the pipeline and if it is meant to be it will be.After I see my new mental health care team,Carol Jolly and I will finish filling in the paperwork for my disability application and get it sent off,let us hope that with the letter of support from my doctor and the added support of mental health the powers that be will finally accept that I am ill and decide in our favor,I'm not holding my breath,but I am more hopeful than I was the last time we applied,Thy will be done Father. After we finish doing what we have to do today all we can do then is sit back and wait,we are getting more and more out of our depth financially and we are considering going for a debt relief order,which is similar in my country to being declared bankrupt,it is not something which we have thought about with any great enthusiasm,but as things stand right now,it would bring us some much needed relief from our creditors,and time to try and work out some kind of repayment plan in the future when our finances have eased somewhat,if they ease that is.This morning,I am tired,but,as I said,I am happy with the accomplishments of the last two weeks,the effort I have had to make both mentally and physically has been immense,and it has taken a huge toll on my strength levels,we're not done yet though and I will have to keep finding the strength to do all that we need to do to make things a little better in our daily lives.I pray daily that God will keep giving me His right arm to lean on as He has done up until now,my faith has always been rock solid,and I have no doubt that my Father in Heaven hears me and will continue to love and support us in the days and months to come,faith can move mountains it is said,and although there are still some very high mountains that are standing in our path,I can feel that the Lord has given them a nudge in the right direction,He will move them completely when He decides the time is right.Physically,the atrophy in my legs and upper torso continue to sap the small physical reserves of strength I have left,leaving me exhausted for most of the time,mentally,my voices are still there despite the increase in the anti psychotic medication designed to eradicate them,but then,when the voices that one hears are people from the Bible,pills or potions are not going to work,to me,the people that I talk to daily are very real,and I don't care who thinks otherwise,my depth of faith and my belief in the Bible as the inspired word of God is unshakeable and has been since I was a small boy,and I derive great comfort from Jeremiah,Ruth and Micah,I really would miss them if they weren't there.Why have I only heard them over the last two years or so?,I don't know,perhaps I wasn't ready in their eyes,but I am now,today is today and they have chosen to speak with me in the manner that they do and I am grateful,how many people alive today can claim to have been told that their eternal salvation is assured?,I can because I have been told that it is so,and that has been a wonderful revelation for me and fills me with a deep sense of peace when I speak with them,God has chosen this time and these people to let me know that He has heard my cries in the wilderness and that,despite all the pain I have gone through in my life,when He closes my eyes for the final time,I will go to live with Him,and that my friends is wonderful.Well journal,once more it is time to depart from here,it is time to get ready for my appointment,until next time then,may the Good Lord continue to watch over us and bless us,and may He walk with us every step of this day.