Friday July 3, 2015 (10:45 pm)

I feel like I'm being lame. I've never really been one for support groups or anything like that, mostly because I don't like needing people. For me, emotions are useless and cloud judgment. But here I am, not knowing what to do or what I need to know and the best thing I could think of was find other people going through this, as well. I was recently diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. No huge surprise, really. Both sides of my family have a history of it. My problem is that no one really talks about it or what to expect. Not even my doctor has been answering my questions satisfactorily. So, today, I bought a book called "The Type 2 Diabetes Diet Book" by Calvin Ezrin (M.D.). I've yet to start reading it so I really can't comment on how it reads.I also bought a journal that I can manually write my blood test results in. I put down if it's fasting, before dinner or after dinner and what time I did the test at. That may seem a little ridiculous, considering my meter is a USB that will keep track digitally but, hey, electronics never fail, right? Anyway, on top of all that, I have rededicated myself to the myfitnesspal account that I started months and months ago. I figured it might be the best way for me to keep track of what I eat. Today was a decent day. I failed a bit when I buckled to having one the Twinkies snack cakes that my husband bought while grocery shopping. -sigh- I'll admit that I'm disappointed in myself for that. I was doing good up to that point. I hope I can keep this up. I'm bad at getting on a kick and then fizzling out. I know this is for my health but I'm afraid that I'll quit caring or that I'll stop being as diligent as I need to be. Wish me luck, I guess. I think I may need it.