Friday-April 18th,2008

It is friday the 18th of April and I choose this black type just for emphasis.So much  has happened but I do know this.I do not love Brad anymore and never did.When I moved to Seattle in 1995,I had a lot of issues.I was trying to do something with my life but then I had it hard with all of the issues with my mother.After my father died in 1987,my mother began to act screwy.In 1987,there was no help available and Frank and I were at wits end.My mother would start her drinking at 9 o clock in the morning.By 11 o clock my mother was drunk.Frank and I had no one to talk to and noone believed me.And I hope that they all take a flying leap because now I do not have the house anymore.I began to have have problems in 1962 at the age of 14 and in seattle it was diagnosed.I have got bi-polar disorder and cannot work anymore.But I do not see any doctor nor do I take any medicine.I am getting help on the Internet and I am getting better everyday.I am going to leave Brad when I can afford it.I have got 3 cats and they will always be with me.But the ache in my heart is just so big.It was just ripped open on 8/1/2004 and noone that I have tried to talk to does not want to help or get involved and I will never forget how I was tossed aside all because I am going through grief and I know deep in my heart that I will never get over my brothers death.