Friday afternoon

Very tense evening at home, kids not listening to a thing, would like to have moments with spouse that never come, and mostly, have rarely ever come, is amazing the things you see and the way I can control lashing out without alcohol, Sunday is 2 weeks not drinking for me, I won't complicate the issues I have and the massive relationship issues I have anymore by drinking, this will be dealt with, I won't let my past mistakes and guilt rule who I become, there is no happiness for me in that, I hope for the best, and get through tonight, and take a pill to calm me, I did finally hear from the doctor today, and stopped taking my Seroquil and will go back to the doctor Tuesday and see where that leads me depending on my demeanor, I am making drastic efforts to be aware of the drugs leaving my system and the mood swings involved that I for the most part deal with them and stay to myself if I see the need, I will go walk the beach, cut grass, clean the outside of the house, something, I must say, it really fucking sucks to me that I feel I have no support system in the form of my wife that I can vocalize anything, this, in itself, will not make us closer, or close would have to be the word as we co exist according to her, I am not angry even though it sounds that way, in fact, my head is more straight than it has been for a long time, I do attribute this to not drinking for almost 2 weeks, but don't worry, I won't choose a bottle again, you can doubt me, but I love myself to much now.
 
Much love, please think of me, and all my friends I pray have a good night!