friday

Over the last two weeks I have been to different counseling sessions with and without my wife, telling the counselors what happened with my wife cheating on me with different women in different situations. They tell me that I am married to a Lesbian who has convinced herself that she can be heterosexual. They ask my wife why she considers herself to be bi and they point out that she leans to the gay side of it. This has gotten my wife very upset and she is now questioning who she is. That is the pressing thing; it appears she doesn’t consider herself bi, lesbian, or heterosexual just an individual who doesn’t fit into any mold. She professes the fact that she does love me and is finding out how much she realizes that more every day. She genuinely has expressed the fact that I am the only one she wants to ever be with. The counselors seem to differ with her and say that if we are to stay together it will be tough on both of our parts. Mine as to the trust issues, with her past indiscretions and a pattern of about six to seven months in-between I am very concerned this will happen again. My wife says that she will be vigilant and not allow those thoughts to creep in again. I guess only time will tell as if this marriage will work or not. In the mean time I am trying to control the see sawing of my moods and memories of those incidents. It is very hard to come to terms with the fact that the one I exchanged wedding vows two months later was having an affair with someone and didn’t think it would be wrong. That’s where I am today wondering if we will make it and how much more of myself I will sacrifice before I get my answer.