fresh start
2012 was a year full of many firsts.
I went to see Marilyn Manson, and Slipknot. I went to cedar point, and rode my first roller coaster. I found out a few people who have technically raped me, was released from prison. I have met some incredible people. I have cut ties with those who weren't who they said they were. I fell in the real love sort of thing. Found out I was pregnant for the first time. (Confirmed pregnancy. I suspect I had a MC, when I was 13, but my bio dad beat the shit out of me when he found out, so it is hard to say.) I had my first confirmed MC. I finally started to open up to quite a few people. Which is not the typical thing for me.
I am proud to say that even though, I have been constantly kicked back down, just when things were looking a bit more sunnier, I continue to still fight. I still struggled with depression amd cutting myself. I had a slip after the MC.
2013 - I hope this yea. Will be my lucky year. I hope to find the happiness I have desperately wanted. I am determimed to have a healthy baby.
I need to work on not obsessing over it. Which is easier said than done. You see; once you have a MC you lose that innocent happiness. You begin to obsess maybe something is wrong with you. And when you haven't landed pregnant again, it just fuels the obsession. I need to work on just breathing. Completely stop smoking, and quit worrying so much. So, with this said. I hope this is my year. For once...
I went to see Marilyn Manson, and Slipknot. I went to cedar point, and rode my first roller coaster. I found out a few people who have technically raped me, was released from prison. I have met some incredible people. I have cut ties with those who weren't who they said they were. I fell in the real love sort of thing. Found out I was pregnant for the first time. (Confirmed pregnancy. I suspect I had a MC, when I was 13, but my bio dad beat the shit out of me when he found out, so it is hard to say.) I had my first confirmed MC. I finally started to open up to quite a few people. Which is not the typical thing for me.
I am proud to say that even though, I have been constantly kicked back down, just when things were looking a bit more sunnier, I continue to still fight. I still struggled with depression amd cutting myself. I had a slip after the MC.
2013 - I hope this yea. Will be my lucky year. I hope to find the happiness I have desperately wanted. I am determimed to have a healthy baby.
I need to work on not obsessing over it. Which is easier said than done. You see; once you have a MC you lose that innocent happiness. You begin to obsess maybe something is wrong with you. And when you haven't landed pregnant again, it just fuels the obsession. I need to work on just breathing. Completely stop smoking, and quit worrying so much. So, with this said. I hope this is my year. For once...
Replies
I really like this post there are parts that sadden me but reading this made me really think of my year.... I think I am going to steal this... you are an amazing person really you are
Steal away :)
And you are an amazing person, too. We have both gone through the darkets corridors of hell, but we always climb back up.
Great journal. I hope this is a great year for all of us!
Thanks, and I hope it is too!