Freitag

Okay again I didn't speak to him. But I wouldn't put myself down for not doing so. Because there were so many guys around him yesterday that it was quite impossible to even talk to him.I was happy all the same, just to see him at all.Well anyway, I had a fun time with the twins! We ended up playing in this playground in the dark. And we were acting so silly, that I was sure people who saw us would think we were high on crack! But it really felt good to be in the fresh air for a change instead of being shut up inside. My only worry for the moment, is my relationship with my sister Joanna. A few days ago mum told me she saw her walking home with this guy from school. And well I totally went really low. I just lied in bed crying for an hour, because it just seemed to me so unfair that guys were going for her and not for me!And even more so because she's younger. I was so upset, that I had to text my sister Marie about it, because I knew she would be the only one who would understand.Now that I look back on it now, I think it was nothing. The guy probably was just being friendly, and Joanna probably hardly talked to him. Because she is also shy like Marie and I.And yet even thinking this now, I still have a feeling of unease when around her, and jealousy still controls me, when she is in the room.I just really don't understand it! No one else in my family makes me feel this way! It is only her, and I just don't know if I can ever stop being jealous of her.