Frank and Brad and the others.June 26th,2008

It is a very painful month for me because Brad and I are apart.But we have been growing apart and I do not see any healing for the both of us.I found out that Brad was having an affair.I found some of his e mails and some of his voicemails.This has been going on for some time and I just had a feeling.We havent had sex in years and I now do not miss it.I am going thru menopause and sex now hurts me.I do not have any doctor and I do not intend to have one.But the pain in my heart is increasing.And I cry almost every day and think of what might have been.It is quite a blow when you find out that he did not love you.But to find out he was with you because he felt sorry for you takes the cake.I began to realize he is not the person that he seems to be.And this is my message to all of you quiet guys..will you please grow up! You do not know what it is like living with someone who does not talk.It is the pits and to all those shy guys..do me a favor-grow up!You shy people are ruining all relationships because of your fear of people.And you cannot understand that some people probably have forgotten what had happened.You cannot let this run your life.Look,Brad is still nursing the fact that she broke up with him at 15.She was a very talented pianist and she wanted a career in music.I do not know if she ever made it..but these things take time and I would rather have a career any day over a man and family.And that is the truth.And in fact,in a study here it was concluded that people who have a rewarding job have got fewer of these diseases.I will not leave Brad as of now because I am still paying off these bills.I cannot leave and go back to New York.I cannot afford it.My house is gone.So is my room.My little dog and Frank.Everything is gone and I am in  so much pain.But I am learning to do stuff by myself.ANd I must.In the end..all you have is yourself to get through this mean and cruel world.And that is the truth.Goodbye!