Four months tomorrow, where did time go ?
It is four months the 31st, tomorrow. I don't know where time has gone. I feel like I am still a little stuck, not quite sure how to carry on. I guess I will just keep on doing like I have been doing and take care of business around here. It is so sad to think that at this time 4 months ago my husband was about to leave me for ever, in this lifetime. I still miss him and thinking I might come home from the grocery store and he will be here, silly me !! I do have plans for the house now that the tree man has cut down 9 of my maple trees that were in dire need of being taken out before they fell on the house, my gosh the place looks different without them!!! So use to having them all these years. My oldest son has been using the chain saw on them and ever so slowly, he is getting them cut up. It is taking him awhile because it is so very hot outside after 10a.m. I tell him it's not worth getting a heat stroke over. He has plenty to do coming up that will keep him busy too. I want to go get my Shepard a kennel so he will have a place to stay when my middle son and his wife and son (such a cutie) I miss him especially not getting to come play at Grandma's house. Ryan and his wife are still unhappy that I am keeping the dog, even tho they have begged me to get rid of him. I would miss him and so would my youngest son. Ryan says I am making a choice over the dog or him and his family, that's so not true. Maybe this weekend I can get it put up and then they can come over and feel safe. It has been a sore spot for them, I don't know what else to do for them. I have helped them so much with their bills, and bought stuff for them. I think I have done too much, but Ryan says that he can't come over and do stuff for me because of the dog. And he says Dad would never have it like it is with him and his family over the dog. Well, Dad isn't here and when my youngest son goes out then I am here alone, at least I have my Shepard !
The best news in the world right now is that my oldest son has been alcohol free for the past 7 days !!!!!!!!!!!! Want to do a Happy Dance over that !!! I pray that he will continue being alcohol free for the rest of his life. He talks like he is happy that he has come this far and I told him that I am ever so proud of him.!! Honest to God I worried so much about him and his health, and the children. So it has been a good day in that reguard.
I have been wondering if it is hard for the other ladies here to get out and go do things on your own ? When my husband was alive and well enough I enjoyed a short trip to shop somewhere. I didn't worry about leaving the house or the dog and such. Now it is just a major thing for me to go to the mail and bank, not to mention grocery shopping. I actually have to make the effort to get dressed and makeup and jewelry on.!! That is probably something I need to work on.lol I need to take a little pride in how I look, but I need to do it for me, not to please anyone else and my heart just isn't in it.!!
I guess I will go to bed and ready my mind to face the 4 month mark tomorrow. This life is so strange and alien to me sense he died. He had told me to get ready for it to happen about 2 months before he died. But that is just something I could not absorb, not denile, but just not understand what and all that encompassed.!!!
Ruthann
The best news in the world right now is that my oldest son has been alcohol free for the past 7 days !!!!!!!!!!!! Want to do a Happy Dance over that !!! I pray that he will continue being alcohol free for the rest of his life. He talks like he is happy that he has come this far and I told him that I am ever so proud of him.!! Honest to God I worried so much about him and his health, and the children. So it has been a good day in that reguard.
I have been wondering if it is hard for the other ladies here to get out and go do things on your own ? When my husband was alive and well enough I enjoyed a short trip to shop somewhere. I didn't worry about leaving the house or the dog and such. Now it is just a major thing for me to go to the mail and bank, not to mention grocery shopping. I actually have to make the effort to get dressed and makeup and jewelry on.!! That is probably something I need to work on.lol I need to take a little pride in how I look, but I need to do it for me, not to please anyone else and my heart just isn't in it.!!
I guess I will go to bed and ready my mind to face the 4 month mark tomorrow. This life is so strange and alien to me sense he died. He had told me to get ready for it to happen about 2 months before he died. But that is just something I could not absorb, not denile, but just not understand what and all that encompassed.!!!
Ruthann
Replies
It is a struggle some days. But you are facing things and getting them done. Just keep doing it in your own time and at your own pace. Our adult children just want things to be normal again, but maybe it will be a new normal. Hugs Patti
Oh sweetie! Our families don\'t always understand our grieving process. My dogs are my greatest comfort. I love to come home to 3 fur babies that are so happy to see me!! Otherwise the house would be so empty and lifeless. They bring life into my world. It is so hard to get out on my own. I hate to sit in a restaurant and watch all the happy couples. I feel so alone! But I have been getting out to the store and such. Life does go on! I miss Bob every second!
Ruthann, I am thinking of you today at the four month mark. Hoping your day is peaceful! Good on you for getting a kennel. I hate it when kids try to guilt us into doing things. I have a feeling if your husband were here there is no way he would get rid of his dog because it bit your son. Instead he would probably take the same measures you are to keep them separated. Yes it is so easy for them to\"forget\" all we have done for them even though they are supposed to be grownup now. Their adult lives are just beginning, but we have \"been\" there \"done\" that and \"have\" all the t-shirts! They need to remember this is \"your\" house, \"you\'re\" the boss and \"you\" make the rules. I just wonder if your son doesn\'t like the dog because it\'s too much of a reminder that dad is gone? And then to get bit by it? Just a thought. Hugs and Love to you, Michele