Forever Mentioning Old Boyfriends
"Brenda" is a year younger than I am, and we are compatible in many ways...
However, one thing that she has always done is to mention her former male friends and sex partners. We've been married more than 35 years, and it is possible for me, even now, to hear a new name of someone she had as a boyfriend-in-bed or a one-nighter. Believe it or not, she will never fail to mention one of these boyfriends at least once a week. She usually does it in company but sometimes to me alone. Just last week, she blurted out as we were passing an unusually fancy costly building that she had been inside it on a date at one time with a man who lived there. I said nothing. I was flabbergasted at hearing of yet one more man to add to the long list of mentioned men.
By the way she immediately composed herself, I could tell that this information had been impulsively blurted out... I didn't mention it further, nor did she.
I regard her behavior as a form of bragging, much as a man would do who brags about his "conquests."
I have told her over and over this bothers me and that I have heard enough to last several lifetimes. To no avail. It seems to me her head is often quite vacant of ideas, and, in company, she then in her vacancy brings forth another mention of a boyfriend.
I should say that I had before Brenda seven long love affairs. I don't talk about them. I don't mention them unless she asks something about them. I feel I'm being considerate.
It is not possible for her not to compare me to all of them. Not possible. Compariing is one of the natural functions of the mind.
I confess I've compared Brenda to the seven previous loves of my life, not in any systematic way at all, of course, but they're there in my mind. I know too that she compares me to her long long list... It's this that bothers me...
By the way in her culture, "name-dropping" is rampant. It is not my own culture.
I would appreciate comments here on this point. Have any of you ever experienced this to any extent?
However, one thing that she has always done is to mention her former male friends and sex partners. We've been married more than 35 years, and it is possible for me, even now, to hear a new name of someone she had as a boyfriend-in-bed or a one-nighter. Believe it or not, she will never fail to mention one of these boyfriends at least once a week. She usually does it in company but sometimes to me alone. Just last week, she blurted out as we were passing an unusually fancy costly building that she had been inside it on a date at one time with a man who lived there. I said nothing. I was flabbergasted at hearing of yet one more man to add to the long list of mentioned men.
By the way she immediately composed herself, I could tell that this information had been impulsively blurted out... I didn't mention it further, nor did she.
I regard her behavior as a form of bragging, much as a man would do who brags about his "conquests."
I have told her over and over this bothers me and that I have heard enough to last several lifetimes. To no avail. It seems to me her head is often quite vacant of ideas, and, in company, she then in her vacancy brings forth another mention of a boyfriend.
I should say that I had before Brenda seven long love affairs. I don't talk about them. I don't mention them unless she asks something about them. I feel I'm being considerate.
It is not possible for her not to compare me to all of them. Not possible. Compariing is one of the natural functions of the mind.
I confess I've compared Brenda to the seven previous loves of my life, not in any systematic way at all, of course, but they're there in my mind. I know too that she compares me to her long long list... It's this that bothers me...
By the way in her culture, "name-dropping" is rampant. It is not my own culture.
I would appreciate comments here on this point. Have any of you ever experienced this to any extent?
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