For the bf

I know that this is not how things are supposed to be when people feel the way we do about each other. It’s not supposed to be easy, but I never thought it would be this hard. I thought that when I met someone that I truly wanted to be with, it would be when the time was right. Instead, I have to say good bye after the 4 best months of my life riding on the simple hope that things will work out in the end. With little reason to believe that it will. I know how you feel about me, and I don’t doubt when you tell me you love me. I don’t doubt when you say you want this to work. What I doubt is that you are ready to believe me when I say that I want this. I do want this – no matter how hard it will be to hold on to. I don’t want to look for someone else. I don’t want to hope that I can replace you, because that’s not going to happen. If this does not work out, I am sure I will be able to move on at some point in the future, but that still won’t erase you. Lately I feel like you’ve been regretting this. I know you won’t say it to me. But I can tell – and it’s driving you away from me. It’s causing you to drive me away. It seems like you regret that this happened, so you want to end our summer on a tone that will make it easier to walk away once I’m gone from this side of the country. And this is the hardest part. I want you in my life, but not if you’re unhappy. Not if this is not what you want. I hope I don’t have to let you go, but if that is what you think is best for you I won’t try to pull you along. I want you to be happy. That’s what is most important to me in this whole situation. I just really really hope that you being happy could involve me.