For Moms Only
I do not think I like change anymore. It is so strange for my mom to be gone. Three years in March. She was almost 91. I wanted her to live forever as I needed her to be in my life. Mom had a good life. Not too sick through her life. Breast cancer twice and she never slowed down. When mom passed it hit me, I am getting old or. Maybe I am old. I am sure I am. When mom turned 90 and I wish her a happy birthday I walked in here she and her boyfriend sitting in their wheelchairs planning their wedding. I say Happy Birthday mom, your 90 today. She let out a loud gasp and says I'm 90 I cant be 90. I replied but you are so she says to me if I am 90 than your old. Wow what a slap in the face. Now those words echo in my mind. Well, I am considered old. Accourding to the stats I might get in 10 more years. Sounds so scary. I want to tell my kids you may only have 10 more times to say Happy Birthday to me. I consider our age time in life we have been lucky. There were times when persons got past 30 were lucky to still be in show business. Today some that live long enough play on TV and the movies in their. 90s. So that has been a good change. My #3 son called me not long ago to tell me I was going to live to be 103. I said well if my health stays thats will be good. I will be 73 in March but my mind does not know it. After mom passed one day after my shower I look at myself and what a shock, I had my moms arms. Do not know what happened. I want to gain some weight maybe I would not have these arms. I should not complain, we who have lost a child/children have outlived their time on this earth. Seems since mom passed death for myself has become a big reality. I want to live to the 103 that my son said but doubtful. Maybe a few more years. I can't change when my time will come, that is a change we cant control. Change it comes and even if we do not like change, it happens. Best to each of you as your life changes. Hope for good changes come your way.
Replies
Hi Sandy, thanks for checking in and sharing.
I can certainly understand about getting older...the body and the mind aren't exactly staying in sync with me these days. I'm not old...but man do I feel old sometimes! Aching back every single day, knees popping, vision and hearing not what it used to be. And forget about multi-tasking!
And change can be difficult. Some change is of course good and necessary, but even then it can be scary. Guess all we can do is roll with it as it comes.
I can just picture your mom and her boyfriend in their wheelchairs discussing marriage! How cute! I'll be thinking of her, and you, in March.
Tight hugs sweet lady,
Teri
When mom passed like I said she had a good life, but with her passing came some peace knowing if what I believe the afterlife is I had comfort knowing she was with my son and taking care of him. Peace came with that.
I understand. My mom shed her earth suit 2 years before Kala's accident and I know my mom was standing there waiting to welcome Kala "home". It does give a sense of peace.
(((hugs)))
I hear you. When my parents died (many years ago) I felt like an orphan. My mom was my rock.
I have pensive times, wondering why. Why did Mom die at age 59. Why did Lisa die before me? I have to take a deep breath and tell myself that I must be here for a reason. It is getting to the point in my life when I know more and more people who have passed.
I know Mom and Dad are with Lisa but darni,, I miss them all.
Tight hugs.
Yes, I agree, when my father passed, I realized I was the oldest generation. It was sort of a rude awakening. I have talked myself out of getting stressed over it. There is nothing I can do about it and I may as well make the most of the rest of my life. When my time is over, I am looking forward to hugging Josh for a long time, also mom, dad, grandma and grandpa. I hope good changes come your way too Sandi.
Thanks all. And yes the life changes is our lived have been like falling on rocks, although there have bee good times, like I will be celebrating 2 more GreatGrand kids, a boy and a girl. Different parents.. my life just seems to go round and round. Around 5 years ago my ste daughter sent me a very nasty note to let me know she couldnt stand to be in the same room as me and that i was no longer allowed to visit, but her dad could. Things continued to happen. I did encourage him to visit her qand the kids. Well noe Grandson joined the Marines. He called to invite us to the graduation. Which we were thrilled. Only for him to call back a few days later to inform us that his Grandpa can come I was not allowed...another slap in my face. Of course my hubby wanted my blessing for him to go. Now they live 9 hours one way so the trip cost $1000.00.. well he expects me to be supportive for him. I wonder when he will ever take a stand for me. Married 25 years next year and the really only peace has really been these last 4 years. Now I get blamed for things. Like he either wants to forget what happened so he doe not have to deal. Now this week it has been we would not have this debt it is all my fault that we bought the motor home. I do not know what to do or how to handle or deal with it being a never ending conflicts. I do not like conflict. It has been so peaceful now hear we go agAin. It will be what it will be
Oh Sandi, my heart aches for the pain you endure by being outcast by family members. Such a shame, and shame on them! I know it hurts your heart.