For Abby, For Myself, For Anyone and Everyone
March 30 2013... "what do you do for me" Abotsd is such a good writer... I find her journals express thoughts so well... and open my mind... Now the thought her March 30,2013 journal awoke aren't necessarily happy thoughts... but sad as I am that she understands... I can't help but be grateful...
Sadly my son has told me I have done nothing for him... It was a bad moment... and our relationship tends to go up and down... I struggle not to give blow for blow... because no matter what he says...I love him...
For the moment we're doing pretty good... He called me the other day to share some news about good things happening in his life... he asked me not to repeat what he told me and certainly I will respect his wishes... I'm good with it... what nearly made me cry... he said he felt the need to share his news because after all I am his mom... and I'm just glad he can remember that...
I posted on FB yesterday... a request I guess you'd call it. I shared from a friend's post... basically just asking my loved ones when I'm dead and gone... please forgive the failures of my life, remember the smiles and the love...
It seems like children are trained nowadays to remember only the failures... to use the failures as their excuses for everything wrong in their lives... sometimes I want to scream... I didn't drink, drug, burn you with matches and curling irons... put you in a cage and half starve you... I tried... I'm still trying by just keeping my mouth shut when you tell me of how little value I am or have been to you... Its not easy... I did get mad at one point and tell my son he should thank me... I am such a good excuse for any and every thing that ever went wrong for him...
Today I'm just grateful that once again we seem to be able to have a relationship. I even had the nerve to ask him if it might be possible for us all, He and Liz and their kids, Cara's kids and their partners, Richard and I maybe to do a mini vacation at a state park someday soon... I'd love to go fishing, fix some meals together, watch the kids swim... just to have some time for a few days... and John said he'd be willing... I will have to call the state parks and find out about fishing licenses, etc... Hopefully we could go in August... Richard is off for the month...
Please pray for me that this happens... I really want some time with my son and his family and Cara's children...
Replies
That get together sounds heavenly! I just said a prayer for you and will again soon. Family business can be hard sometimes, if you love - you get hurt. It is so sad for all involved because hardly anyone walks out without an \"emotional scratch or bruise.\" I am hoping Elissa that your summer will be as gentle as you are. Sending you love and prayers, Leda
What a wonderful idea having the whole family on a mini-vacation. Good times are bonding and you will have memories to cherish.
I will send my prayers that you and your family can have a great mini vaca together.... love ya!
Grateful for this good moment and SO hopeful you can spend some days together doing simple things that bring you all pleasure.
I have always felt that being a parent has been the most challenging job I\'ve ever been given because there were no instructions given. Trial by error, each child so very different as to what they needed and I was not the same either with each passing year as to where I was on my path. Children thrive just as animals do with so little and the LOVE is All that ever matters and I have no doubt that it was abundant in your household, Elissa.
I knew the only thing that my dad needed to hear before his passing was that he\'d been the best dad ever and teacher for me. We had experienced many ups and downs in our life, yet that was the send off I believe he deserved and I needed it too. I will never ever forget the look in his eyes when he absorbed what I said.
There comes a time when each child becomes an adult and perhaps a parent and the \"excuse\" and I have found that as my daughter is raising her three that she sees things now in her dad and in me that she could not before. There is a softness and a compassion knowing that we did our best just as she is doing her best. Our best is not perfect, yet it\'s all we have and I would think that as your son became a father that this would begin to be his reality too.
Hoping you have something wonderful to look forward to and that the simplicity of BEing together will be just what is needed.
Loving care,
XO Joanie
This is good news, will say a prayer that your family mini vacation will become a reality. Sue xo
Having a mini vacation can be a huge blessing! I will pray with you that it will happen. Yes, the children of today are too busy focussing on their rights and excuses, and they totally disregard their responsibilities. Especially here in South Africa. Good manners, respect and honor is regarded as old fashioned! It is such a shame.
My fingers are crossed - a family vacation would be wonderful.
I used to tell my children that they didn\'t come with instructions. Lisa and I had a rocky relationship when she was in her late teens. We are both stubborn so that didn\'t help. When she was a mom, I asked her what I could have done differently. She said \"Nothing. I had to make my own mistakes\". Gosh I miss her.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
A state park is a wonderful idea. One of my favorite vacations as a kid was in a state park in Florida, with deer that I fed crackers to. Simple cabins, two to a bed. Sisters together, brother with mom and dad. I hope you get to do this, with all those you love. Thanks for mentioning my journals, love, abby
A true blessing is due for you and your family. This vacation in August will be it. Power of positive thinking. Yes!!! Hugs, Kathy
Sending love and prayers for a wonderful, love-filled time with family.
Hugs, Linda