Follow up to my Jan 09 last post

I last wrote about my father contacting me after 12 years of being estranged. I really felt sorry for him because his wife had just passed away and shortly after that his sister passed also. It appeared to me that maybe he was trying to get "things right". He is 70, alone, and has at least one health issue I know of. He lives about 2000 miles away from where I live. I had been emailing him casually but on a regular basis. I wanted him to feel that I was keeping him informed in my life to some extent. (Even working through the issues I am still dealing with from his alcoholism and violent nature through my childhood.) He would email me back with the same type casual verbage. This has gone on since November '08 up until a few weeks ago June '09. It was a Sunday morning a few weeks ago when my phone rang about 8:30 AM. When my phone rings that early it is always my mother! Even though I have caller ID, out of instinct I grabbed it and answered it fast so as not to wake anyone else. It was my father. He is in an earlier time zone by 2 hours. It was 6:30 AM where he was. He was disgustingly drunk. Not just that. He went on to talk about winning some gambling money and having a nice new lady friend with him. And yes, I could hear someone in the background. Needless to say I was totaly disgusted and hurt. I really believed this person, my father, could actually have changed and become a better person. OH my God I was soooo wrong. His illness should prevent him from drinking. If he had been drinking all those years he would not be alive. I believe his wife who just passed in Oct. '08, 8 months ago, had kept him in check with not drinking. He left me a phone message asking why he had't heard from me in a while. I have not answered and I do not plan on communicating with him. He used to have black outs from drinking so he might not even remember calling me. I am sorry if he is confused. But I do not think I need to put myself through his hurtfulness anymore. I am not "his child" anymore. I am a grown woman with a family of my own who I am struggling to take care of being a PWN. I don't need the pain of dealing with his issues ever again.This mess does not belong here but it is part of my life anyway.happyhappy-not about any of this