Food

I am finally realizing how much I hate food & how much I do not want to eat. When I do eat I feel like such a pig and like I need to go exercise everything off.  I buy food and most goes to waste.  I do it so people who know me think that I'm actually eating.  Trying to finish packing and working while doing the same.    Went to a support group last night and got some good advice, just the hard part is implementing it to my life.   I have actuaslly trieed to have a more positive outlook but it's not working out too well.  My family and what few friends i have don't even know about my anorexia so that just makes it even tougher to try and deal with.  I'm not sure who the real me is anymore behind all the masks that I have ffor differenty people.  the nice thing about DS is that I can be open & honest about who I am.    I haven't cut in a long while even though I would like to very much so.  Just trying to keep at least one thing at bay.