Focus

I have my first therapy session booked for the 2nd March. I'm really happy. I am hoping I will like her and can talk openly about my issues. I wish it was a bit sooner. I have asked her to call me if any cancellations come up.
There is no co-dependency group near me. The closest one is 60 miles away. I could do the 120 mile trip every week but I think I would get fed up after awhile.
I have been going over cognitive distortions today. I am finding it very useful. This is a few I came up with.
 
I feel trapped inside my life. I feel everyone else is an extension to my happiness. I have no real concept of people being people. I do not see them as having fears, distorted views, problems. I see them as perfect. I know they are not but I see them that way. If I can compare to everyone then I can be perfect.
I see other people as the problems in my life. If I was just on my own then everything would be fine. Yet when I am on my own I miss people. I blame my problems on certain people.  
When I feel stupid I think I am stupid. If people see me doing something I regard as stupid I fear they must think I'm stupid. I fear if someone calls me boring then it must be true. If they call me interesting then it must be true.  
I do judge people in very short amounts of time. This would explain the reason why I fear people will judge me so harshly when I do something very minor. I am too hard on myself and too harsh others.
 
I feel like I am really getting to know myself. Its going to be a long process trying to undo all these behaviours. It is automatic. Like switching a light on, it just happens. I am giving myself the power to undo these thoughts. They do not have to be automatic. I have many thoughts that are destructive and they hold me back in life. I will work very hard and focus on getting myself back on track and to where I want to be in life.