Florida checkin.

I'm thinking it may have been too soon in my recovery to come here. With my mom I feel like I can be so vulnerable. So I just cry and cry and cry and hug her and think about how much I miss my parents. They live in fl and I in Callie. Then there are these idle times at the pool or beach where I just sit and think. It is also so effing hot here I'm sweating a crapload. I am doing my 30 min cardio and I'm now down 20lbs to 138 since this started June 21. Ok granted I am 5'5 so I Needed to lose this weight. In fact four months ago my doctor told me I had to. But not this way. My ideal weight is 140 do I can't afford to drop any more. Everyone wants to lose weight. I want to be fat and happy.

After I talked to my husband today in CA I felt better today. He told me just to get thru this weekend relax and we will figure out things on tues when I get home. I didn't think I would become more depressed coming here. It's just hard to relax because of the anxiety. Being in a swimsuit only reminds me of how much weight I've lost.
Really I should just be sitting on the beach with a trashy novel. Easier said than done