First year anniversary:(
Today is the first year anniversary of my son Jesse's passing. I have been obsessed with this day coming for the past month. Thinking of it constantly, preparing for how emotional and difficult it would be. I don't talk to anyone much about this and hold it mostly inside. I feel like to everyone else this is long in the past and forgotten, but yet to me I keep replaying when I was told of his death over and over in my head like a video recorder. I was really feeling alone until yesterday when I received a hug from one of my "mom friends" here on Daily Strength, then I got another this morning. I was a nice reminder that I'm not alone and all of you DO understand exactly what I'm feeling. Thank you for being here for me!!!
Replies
Walking hand in hand and heart to heart on this tender day... It is such a hurdle to navigate and I remember awakening \"the day after\" my first year and wondering how I had \"done it?\" Just one moment and minute at a time and knowing that each of us here does understand in ways that others who are not walking this path cannot.
FMO is a safe haven where we come to BE... May you feel enfolded in loving care today and just BE. No right or wrong way to do this and feel all that you need to and be as gentle with your thoughts and heart.
Jesse is remembered today by me and each of you held tightly in my heart.
Heartfelt hugs and understanding,
XO Joanie
I so understand how you feel today. I remember that the month prior to that first angel day was like I was reliving each day prior to my sons passing, too. It is etched in our minds...and I still think of all the days leading up to the day. I have found that the anticipation of the upcoming date has always been more anxious that the date itself...I am not sure why...perhaps not wanting to face another mark in time of the loss. I try to reassure myself, that I can not miss him any more on THE day than any other day...which is true, but these days....(deep sigh)
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AnnM
Big Tight Hugs, this will never be over for us Mom\'s. Only another mother who has faced this terrible happening can understand that the heartache never stops, the grieving never stops, it just changes and is put aside to return at the most unexpected moments.
One year is still new in this process, some have said the second year is even harder because the numbness has gone. That wasn\'t the case for me, I found the second year easier to bear and I hope it will be the same for you sweet SOTH,
Hugs,
Terru
Yes, darling, we DO understand~~ OH that first anniversary is so very hard!! Somehow, we survive it...
You are being held closely by all of us today~~
Yes, the first year is so very hard, and the anticipation is awful. The moms here know how much it hurts even if you try to act normal again because that is what is expected from you by friends and family.
Love to you on this most difficult of days,
Leda
We are walking beside you all the way...Hugging you close....
We do understand & we care. More hugs on the way to you sweet friend.
Vicki