first week
Hi all. It's hard for me to come up with a journal entry, so I'm going to copy and paste something from another friend here on DS:
Emotional disconnect happens over time and through a lack of honest and open communication. My X and I rarely fought; we would disagree, but there was never any resolution to the disagreements. Eventually, I stopped trying to discuss ANYTHING with him because I knew it would lead to just another one of his stony silences and more swallowing of feelings for me. I have read in many places where couples who DO FIGHT actually have healthier relationships than those who do not. I think this really describes why our 27 yrmarriage finally ended and why it took so long!! My therapist must be so tired of me. But, this is my first week living here without my stbx - and I have to say I love it! I am readjusting to a home that I had come to resent, and really enjoying my kids and pets and activities. I am so ready to move on.
Anyway, glad I could steal (and share) the above info. Have a great day!
Emotional disconnect happens over time and through a lack of honest and open communication. My X and I rarely fought; we would disagree, but there was never any resolution to the disagreements. Eventually, I stopped trying to discuss ANYTHING with him because I knew it would lead to just another one of his stony silences and more swallowing of feelings for me. I have read in many places where couples who DO FIGHT actually have healthier relationships than those who do not. I think this really describes why our 27 yrmarriage finally ended and why it took so long!! My therapist must be so tired of me. But, this is my first week living here without my stbx - and I have to say I love it! I am readjusting to a home that I had come to resent, and really enjoying my kids and pets and activities. I am so ready to move on.
Anyway, glad I could steal (and share) the above info. Have a great day!
Replies
I can relate. My STBX avoids any kind of reality, truth as well as confrontations. I realise now that he is an alcoholic. As a result of the addiction and goal to be able to drink, he would avoid any kind of discussions around the truth. Even confronting him with evidence, he would sit in silence or say \'\'i need to look into that.\'\' No wonder I ate my way through frustrations and feelings! (well not really--I need to take full ownership for that one!)
A good therapist never gets tired of a patient--but realises that some things some times take longer to be understood. It is a process.
It is hard and often painful to take a heart wrenching look at ourselves and to also see our own faults and issues, however, it is the only path to peace of mind and serenity.