First step of Fixing a Problem is Admitting you have one

Time for some self-evaluation on my part. Someone told me last week that I was standoffish. I have heard that before because I don’t let people in easily. I am pretty much a private person and don’t put my feelings out there too much. I guess I have a wall that I need to work on knocking down and letting others in. The only problem with that is if you let people in too much you tend to get either hurt or taken advantage of in the process. The good side is that you can build lasting relationship and have a great close circle of people in your lives. I also need to work on not being such a big baby. When I say that it is because many times I will not do thing such as drive some place I’m not familiar with or go places by myself because I may feel uncomfortable or afraid I will get lost. For example, my son has a track meet on Friday which my husband is not going to because he is a coach and has practice. The meet is 100 miles away from home and I would love to go but don’t want to drive that far. In the back of my mind I hear, what if the car breaks down, what if you take a wrong turn and can’t find your way home, what happens when it gets dark and you get tired having to drive back home. I don’t even drive downtown anymore because I don’t want to get lost or end up in a bad part of town. At my age 44, it is time to work on getting over all of this stuff and be more independent. I always think of myself as independent but looking at some of the stuff that I seem to be dependent on it is past time for me to break out and do for myself.
 
First step should be to set some goals and get the tools I need to feel comfortable. I don’t have a GPS so that might be my first tool for the driving part. I need to find hobbies of my own that don’t surround my kids or husband’s activities which I have let consume me for the past 17 years. I need to reach out to my friends that I have lost touch with over the years. Maybe, drive someplace new once a week so I can learn my way around. When I went back to school a few years ago I didn’t really have time to do anything but study. I would be invited to events and my kids had games, practices, and some type of social event. I guess what I am saying is that I need to find me again. Yesterday was my father-in-laws wedding anniversary. It has been two years since my mother-in-law passed and he has never lived alone. He went from his parent’s home, to getting married and the day she passed he moved in with us. I have seen some of his struggles because he depended on her to remind him of appointments, medicine, eating right, etc. I guess when you get the realization that we all get every now and then how short life is I need to be able to do what I need to handle whatever comes my way if one day it is just me, or if I simply want to go somewhere and my husband or others have plans. Life is too short. Well, step one of fixing a problem is admitting you have one.

Replies

djbritt
djbritt

Sounds like you have a good plan and you just have to follow through with the plan. That is the hard part. Get your GPS and go. I go all the time. I am waiting any day for my car to break down on me but I have no choice. I drive 60 miles at least once or twice a week to go to doctors\' appointments. Sometimes we go a different way each time so I can show Megan how to get around. I am not one to tell you to do things that you enjoy because my activities are around my family. I know we all need our own identity. Go find yours. I will have to do that soon because mine are getting older. I have found myself clinging to Megan. She wants to go off to college. What will I do without her? I know I do not need to be like that but I am trying not to be. Have fun while you are looking for yourself.
MsRee
MsRee

Cheryl it sounds like you have the plan altogether so go on and get it honey. We all have our bouts with what we have to do to better do for ourselves so good luck with yours.

Your friend
Renee
CW2008
CW2008

Thank you both. You know after all of that I get a call from my husband today and my father-in-law is driving this weekend so I don\'t have too or at least don\'t have to go alone. I\'m still going to start shopping for my GPS LOL. Thanks for the support. Sometimes I feel like such a big baby, but I do have a plan and I\'m working on it.